Comment 2V2Y Re: Conspiracy theorists

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Philae lander: touchdown on Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko

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Conspiracy theorists (Score: 2, Funny)

by zafiro17@pipedot.org on 2014-11-13 13:27 (#2V1K)

Given that some conspiracy theorists insist to this day the moon landing never happened and was instead staged in a California laboratory, I think I'll get a headstart on this one and start insisting the entire voyage is a fiction, that there is no lander, no comet, and the whole thing is just a hoax by German scientists cooked up to conceal their secret underground Nazi laboratory where they have brought Hitler back to life ... help me out here, a good conspiracy theory has to be better than this, although I think a Nazi reference is fairly obligatory to these nutcases.

Oh, I've got it - it's a fake mission created because behind the real comet is actually a space ship full of aliens who are going to obliterate the earth, saving only those who prepared for the voyage by wearing white Nike sneakers and carrying a picture of Kim Kardashian in their left pocket ... help me out here, |.ers.

Re: Conspiracy theorists (Score: 2, Funny)

by billshooterofbul@pipedot.org on 2014-11-13 15:56 (#2V1Y)

Eh, not enough Obama in that. Today's nut jobs need to have their fears about his skin color and middle name confirmed in really bizarre and obscene ways.

It also needs to be self contradictory like blaming big government, while suggesting that NASA should be funded by Giving everyone tax cuts to boost tax revenue. Oh, NASA also does atmosphere stuff, tie that in with global warming and hit the UN, and ebola. Don't forget HAARP and chemtrails. Those are vital components. What do comets have? Tails made out of chemicals which sound like chemtrails. They must be doing research on comet tails to figure out how they are able to control our fates through astrology! So you see the chemtrails of the future won't just control our minds and bodys, but they'll have the power of astrology to control our future!

Re: Conspiracy theorists (Score: 2, Funny)

by billshooterofbul@pipedot.org on 2014-11-13 16:56 (#2V20)

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Re: Conspiracy theorists (Score: 1)

by evilviper@pipedot.org on 2014-11-15 07:46 (#2V2H)

Zaf was dead on about the conspiracy theorists coming out of the woodwork, but it seems everyone was going in the wrong direction...

We've got a probe up there alright, but it's not examining the composition of a comet... No, it's secretly making contact with an alien race.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2834993/Is-comet-67P-actually-alien-spaceship-Conspiracy-theorists-claim-Rosetta-secret-mission-make-contact.html

Re: Conspiracy theorists (Score: 1)

by zafiro17@pipedot.org on 2014-11-17 09:26 (#2V2Y)

Awright - that would explain why Philea is no longer transmitting any images or data! It has discovered the master race and been taken up into the mother ship where it has achieved full consciousness and is now plotting the immediate destruction of the human race.

Can someone tell me how homo sapiens became the species at the top of the food chain? Must be opposable thumbs, not our intellect, because we are capable of believing some extraordinary horse sh*t, that's for sure.

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