‘Amazon’s Alexa is now part of the family – I just hope she doesn’t replace me’

In 2017 voice recognition has gone mainstream, with the Echo, Google Home and other smart speakers all competing for space in your life

The most futuristic thing I have ever bought used to be a Sonos music player. I'd have people over just to show it off. "Name a song," I'd say. "Go on, any version of any song by any act that ever lived. I dare you." So they would, and I'd pull out my phone and - hey presto - seconds later, that song would boom out across my living room like magic. No ungainly wires. No battery-draining Bluetooth connection. When friends moved house, I'd see their stupid boxes of old CDs and laugh. "You antiquated morons," I'd gloat. "When I move house, I'll be able to fit every song ever recorded into a shoebox. I live in the distant future and you are a bone-throwing ape, and it's all thanks to my Sonos."

I hate my Sonos player now.