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Updated 2018-08-19 01:22
Don Mattingly Will Protect The Cowardly Jose Ureña From Comeuppance
Marlins pitcher Jose Ureña was suspended six games by Major League Baseball for his bush-league plunking of Ronald Acuña Jr., to break up Acuña’s three-game streak of leadoff dingers. As should be expected whenever a player is suspended, Ureña has appealed the punishment, which means he is eligible to pitch for the…Read more...
GTA V World Record Speedrun Is A Grueling, Fascinating Ten Hours
Speedruns are all about completing a game quickly, and the world record for 100%ing Grand Theft Auto V is a breezy ten hours of skydiving, helicopter flying, bike racing, and story missions. It’s a wonder to behold.Read more...
Tom Chambers Charged With Assault For Roughing Up Belligerent Jerk
Former NBA star Tom Chambers was charged with two counts of assault this week in Arizona, related to an April incident in Scottsdale where he roughed up a shitbag youth who allegedly said some very rude things to him while he was dining out.Read more...
Taekwondo Coach Reinstated By SafeSport Following Brief Ban Over "Decades Long Pattern Of Sexual Misconduct"
Jean Lopez—the former U.S. taekwondo coach who was banned in April 2018 following a report from SafeSport that described “a decades long pattern of sexual misconduct by an older athlete/coach abusing his power to groom, manipulate and, ultimately, sexually abuse younger female athletes”—will be reinstated, according…Read more...
MLB Network Falls For Joke Report That Trevor Bauer Is Treating Himself For "CIA Nanites"
It’s possible to believe a lot of whacky stories about Trevor Bauer, who is both a big old dummy and also a too-online crank who once wanted to use a soldering iron to cauterize a finger wound. A report that Bauer wants to use alternative methods to treat the stress fracture in his right fibula would surprise exactly…Read more...
Josh Gordon Returns From Unexplained Leave Of Absence
Josh Gordon’s unexplained leave of absence from the start of Browns training camp—something Gordon described as “part of my overall health and treatment plan” when it was announced back in July—is now apparently over. Gordon announced Saturday that he’s rejoining the team:Read more...
Dramatic Dinger-Robbing Catch Denied By Beer
Diamondbacks outfielder Jon Jay had a rough, frustrating time Friday night. Twice he reached up at the outfield wall to make a play on a shallow dinger, and both times Padres fans beat him to the ball. All Jay came down with, in the end, were a few droplets of spilled beer, and disappointment.
It Is Truly Sickening That The Blue Devils Also Have R.J. Barrett
Duke’s multi-stage devastation of Canadian basketball continued Friday, in Toronto, with the vile Blue Devils pounding the bejeezus out of the poor Varsity Blues of the University of Toronto. Zion Williamson thrashed the feeble, excessively polite fellows of Ryerson Wednesday night, and although he continued to feast…Read more...
Here Are Some Videos Of Simone Biles Dominating At The National Championships
BOSTON, Mass.—We are just eight routines into Simone Biles’s return to competition and I’ve already run out of superlatives to describe just how good she is. I feel like everyone who is tasked with writing about Biles more than once finds themselves reaching for the thesaurus just to find new ways of describing her…Read more...
I Got Coated In Chalk At National Championships
BOSTON, Mass.—There are a lot of things you might miss when you watch a sport on television instead of viewing it live. In sports like figure skating, it might be difficult to really get how fast the skaters are zipping around the rink. Ditto for the speed at which NBA players move on the court when you watch a game…Read more...
Deadspin Up All Night: To Die By Your Side
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Hey pals!Read more...
Does Anyone Remember Jim?
In February of 2017, at some conservative event in Maryland, Donald Trump said that Paris was a ruined city because too many brown and black people live there now. (I’m giving you the gist.) He attributed this opinion to his friend “Jim,” a “very, very substantial guy.” Is this jogging your memory?Read more...
You'll Never Guess What Alabama Plans To Spend Another $600 Million On
You almost have to respect the University of Alabama for so boldly and dickishly doubling down on the extreme inequality that plagues college athletics, without even the slightest care for the awful optics of their decadence. Almost.Read more...
There Are No Clean Hands In The Latest WWE Twitter Blow-Up
Pro wrestling Twitter completely imploded on Wednesday. Well, more than usual.
Turns Out Corey Coleman Asked For A Trade From The Browns
Former 2016 first-round pick Corey Coleman was traded away for jack shit—er, a conditional seventh-round pick—two weeks ago, making him one of nine Browns first-rounders since 2011 to have been jettisoned for cents on the dollar.Read more...
Clemson Is Ready To Claim Its Dynasty
Welcome to the Deadspin 25, a college football poll that strives to be more democratic and less useless than every other preseason poll. Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 25 teams that you, the readers, voted to be most worthy of writing about. Now, No. 12 Clemson.
The Definitive Jezebel Profile of Melania Trump
Melania Trump seems to be very much alone in her position.
Tyrod Taylor Has Been Letting People Mispronounce His Name This Whole Time
Tyrod Taylor is about to begin his eighth season in the NFL, his fourth as a full-time starting quarterback, and his first with the Cleveland Browns (the poor bastard). All this time, his first name has been pronounced incorrectly, apparently.Read more...
Simone Biles Doesn't Want To Be A Savior
Just the other day, I was talking to a fellow gym nerd about the upcoming world championships in October. “Who’s your number two?” she asked, by which she meant who did I think would win the silver at worlds. I won’t say my answer because I am almost always wrong about these things. I don’t have to say that my number…Read more...
Boban Plays Tennis
Boban Marjanovic appears to be spending some of his offseason back in his native Serbia, which has produced tennis stars like reigning Wimbledon champ Novak Djokovic and former No. 1 Ana Ivanovic. As tall, smooth-moving players with big serves increasingly find success in the men’s game, it’s become tempting to wonder…Read more...
Soccer Fan Takes A Ball To The Dome And Handles It Like A Champ
I don’t know about you but if my unsuspected skull had just gotten blown the hell up by a flying soccer ball, I wouldn’t have reacted with half the poise and grace as this lady did:Read more...
Dwyane Wade Asks Jimmy Butler To Kindly Wipe His Drool Off Gabrielle Union's Instagram Photos
Dwyane Wade and Jimmy Butler were previously teammates on the Chicago Bulls, so this could be a lighthearted gag between friends. Uh, maybe.Read more...
Athletic Writer Throws Fit Over Rhode Island Not Giving Into Stadium Financing Scheme
A hot new sports media startup may not be the place you’d expect to find a braindead take lifted straight from a dead-tree columnist’s 1996 notebook, but then you remember that The Athletic, in its quest to destroy all print sports sections, did hire plenty of middle-aged white guys. One of those guys is Joe McDonald,…Read more...
What's The Dumbest Way You've Injured Yourself?
Inspired by this good tweet—Read more...
Why Your Team Sucks 2018: Los Angeles Chargers
Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers. But many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many more people are NOT fans of the Los Angeles Chargers. This 2018 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group.
Inspiring Viral Sports Girl Is Actually A Boy
This week a video of a small child made the rounds on social media. The child, wearing a Real Madrid uniform and a ponytail, dances through defenders with a soccer ball and then smiles up at the camera:
Serena Williams Learned Her Half-Sister's Killer Was Out Of Prison Just Before Her Worst Loss Ever
Serena Williams suffered the most lopsided loss of her career last month in the opening round of the Silicon Valley Classic, when Johanna Konta defeated her 6-1, 6-0 in less than an hour. It was the first time in Williams’s career that she hadn’t won at least two games in a match.Read more...
This Triple Play Confused The Hell Out Of Everyone Involved
Triple plays are always cool, but the best instances are the ones that leave everyone—fielders, runners, fans, broadcasters—kind of confused about what exactly just happened. Last night’s Angels-Rangers game gave us one of those.
This Cult Favorite Amazon Underwear Brand Is Running a Big Sale Today
David Archy might not be a household name yet, but they sell some of the most popular underwear and clothing basics on Amazon, and a whole bunch of it is on sale today.
Today's a Great Day to Finally Buy a Foam Mattress
If you’re really serious about improving your nighttime routine, you can buy an entire foam mattress today for $259-$462 (queens cost $315) in Amazon’s Gold Box. These 4+ star-rated mattresses are constructed of 9.5 inches of high density base foam topped with a 2.5 inch layer of memory foam, and arrive at your door…Read more...
Antoine Griezmann To Carlos Vela: Wait For Me At LAFC
Atleticó Madrid pulled off an upset on Wednesday in taking down crosstown rival Real Madrid 4-2 to bring home the UEFA Super Cup. After the game, Atleticó’s star forward Antoine Griezmann dropped some fire quotes, as he tends to do during post-game celebrations.Read more...
Minnesota Steakhouse Pranks Umpire Joe West With Braille Menu
Joe West has been an umpire for 42 years, long enough to have seen pretty much damn near everything there is to see in the sport. Six World Series, nine League Championship Series, eight League Division Series, and three All-Star Games will do that to you. Bet he’s never been owned by a restaurant, though.Read more...
Kyla Ross And Madison Kocian Are The Latest Olympic Gymnasts To Speak Out About Larry Nassar's Abuse
Former U.S. Olympic and current UCLA gymnasts Kyla Ross and Madison Kocian have added their voices to the over 150 women who have spoken out against the sexual abuse they experienced from disgraced and imprisoned doctor Larry Nassar. Ross, an Olympic gold medalist on the 2012 team, and Kocian, a gold medalist in 2016,…Read more...
The Mets Made The Phillies Look Like The Mets
The New York Mets are the greatest baseball team of the past two days. Following up on a 16-5 drubbing of the Orioles on Wednesday night, one of the biggest laughingstocks in baseball took down the Phillies this afternoon by a staggeringly competent score of 24-4. Those 24 runs today are a Mets franchise record.Read more...
J.J. Redick Says He Discovered A Caged Person In His Taxi
Before a chat with Orlando Magic rookie Mo Bamba, J.J. Redick opened today’s episode of his podcast with an account of how he supposedly saw a person in a cage in his car service driver’s trunk yesterday. Wait, what?
1988 Olympic Gymnastics Champion Yelena Shushunova Dies At 49
Yelena Shushunova, the 1988 Olympic all-around champion, died in St. Petersburg due to complications from pneumonia. She was 49 years old.Read more...
Josh Norman Has The Right Idea But The Wrong Solution
Washington cornerback Josh Norman has a proposed fix for the NFL’s salary system: a cap on how much money quarterbacks can earn. “I would address the quarterback situation,” Norman told The Ringer’s Kevin Clark, “because they get gosh darn too much money.”Read more...
Park Slope Dads Debate the Ethics of Seeing Pearl Jam 4 Weeks Before Your Baby Is Due
A rousing, almost philosophical debate broke out in a recent email thread forwarded to Jezebel from the dads section of the Park Slope [Brooklyn] Parents listserv, when one father posed a significant ethical dilemma to the other dads: Is it okay to see Pearl Jam for the 19th time just four weeks out from when your…Read more...
Canada Was Not Ready For Zion Williamson, And The ACC Might Not Be Either
Last night, Zion Williamson played his first competitive game in a Duke jersey, opening a preseason road trip the Blue Devils have against some Canadian college teams. The trip opened against Ryerson, and Williamson put on a show.Read more...
Some People Really Need To Chill Out About The Davis Cup Changes
The International Tennis Federation voted Thursday to reformat the Davis Cup, the 118-year-old men’s international team tennis event, changing it from a competition that is played over four weekends throughout the year to a season-ending, 18-team tournament played over one week, World Cup–style.Read more...
Two Insufferable Teams Combine Forces For One Really Big Piece Of Shit
Notre Dame football will play at Yankee Stadium in November, so to commemorate what will surely be a memorable game against Syracuse, the Fighting Irish will wear these pinstriped uniforms. The price is quite steep at $95, but anyone who’d buy one would be doing so drunk anyway.
There's No Bad Idea Like A Sports Bad Idea
It is a harsh truth, but an undeniable one: If it weren’t for bad ideas, we would not have anything to talk about on the Deadcast. In point of fact, if it were not for bad ideas the Deadcast itself would not even exist. But while our world is currently much worse off for all the bad ideas that currently hold sway in…Read more...
When Miami's Rolling, The Bandwagon Is Rowdy As Hell
Welcome to the Deadspin 25, a college football poll that strives to be more democratic and less useless than every other preseason poll. Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 25 teams that you, the readers, voted to be most worthy of writing about. Now, No. 13 Miami.
Oh, Good, Now The Sports Media Is Slurping Up Elon Musk's Bullshit
Go to any sports website today and you are likely to see a headline about Tesla founder Elon Musk’s brilliant new plan to alleviate traffic before and after Los Angeles Dodgers games. ESPN: “Elon Musk’s tunnel company aims to reduce Dodger Stadium traffic with ‘Dugout Loop.’” Sports Illustrated: “Elon Musk Proposes…Read more...
New Marketing Deal Will Bring Regular Season La Liga Match To The U.S.
After years of seeing meaningful games from our own major sports shipped abroad by the greedy leagues that control them, U.S. sports fans are about to find themselves on the opposite side of that transaction. Thanks to a new marketing deal, Spain’s La Liga will play a regular season match stateside, possibly starting…Read more...
Why Your Team Sucks 2018: Baltimore Ravens
Some people are fans of the Baltimore Ravens. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Baltimore Ravens. This 2018 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.
D.C. United Ball Boy Does His Job A Little Too Well
There was a lot to like in D.C. United’s 4-1 win over the Portland Timbers Wednesday night, namely the continued resurgence of old man Wayne Rooney, who scored two goals, including one extremely sweet free kick. The best highlight of the night, though, came from this deadly accurate ball boy.Read more...
The Living Standard of Political Media Failure
Among the many bitter lessons driven home by Donald Trump’s rise to power is this: the political media, for all of its hand-wringing about impartiality, is extremely susceptible to creating reality, rather than portraying it.Read more...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Is Thriving In MLS
Old man and Manchester United legend Wayne Rooney was supposed to be irreversibly washed. He still largely is—hence why he’s in MLS to begin with—but, still, he’s definitely been making the most out of his American sabbatical. He’s already mashed his face into bits and notched one of his career-best highlights, on…Read more...
Jose Ureña Played Dumb And Defiant After Plunking Ronald Acuña
Pretty much the entire baseball world (except for Keith Hernandez) united against Marlins pitcher Jose Ureña after he knocked red-hot Braves starlet Ronald Acuña out of the game with a first-pitch heater to the elbow. Braves first baseman Freddie Freeman called Ureña “gutless.” Even his own manager wouldn’t come to…Read more...
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