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Updated 2018-10-19 10:23
David Price Finally Broke His Postseason Hex
Unfair or deserved, David Price has a reputation for pitching like butt in the playoffs. Before tonight, he was winless in 11 postseason starts since 2011. In Game 2 against the Astros, he had to settle for the “team win” when he was pulled after 4.2 innings and didn’t factor into the decision for Boston’s 7-5…Read more...
The Arizona Cardinals Are Toilet Soup
Von Miller called his shot earlier this week when he said his team would kick the Arizona Cardinals’ asses. The Broncos, who had lost four straight, had planned to take out their frustrations in tonight’s game. The hopeless bird men were happy to oblige.
Markelle Fultz Is Still Struggling, But He Finally Made A Three
The Sixers didn’t really need Markelle Fultz to play well in tonight’s 127-108 blowout of the Bulls, which was good, because something’s clearly still affecting him. He finally made his first career three-pointer, though, and it made for a nice little moment. The Philly crowd celebrated like they’d traded for a…Read more...
Report: Former USA Gymnastics CEO Cozied Up To FBI To Save Face During Nassar Investigation
A day after former USA Gymnastics CEO Steve Penny was arrested following a grand jury indictment for tampering with evidence in the investigation of Larry Nassar, the New York Times has a new report detailing how Penny behaved with the FBI as its agents looked into reports from gymnasts about the former national team…Read more...
Don't Fall In Love With Ted Cruz, Or You'll Live An Unfulfilled Life
Presumably this Heidi Cruz profile, by Elaina Plott at The Atlantic, was written in an effort to provide some sort of human element to Ted Cruz’s re-election campaign, as he is incapable of doing that himself. Instead, it came off as a dire warning of what will happen to a person’s life if they fuck and fall in love…Read more...
Anthony Duclair Eats Shit, Gets Up, Scores Amazing Goal
Young Blue Jackets forward Anthony Duclair looked a little overeager to receive the puck with tons of space in the offensive zone in the first period tonight against the Flyers. And when Duclair skated in on net, a sudden attempt to change direction ended with him splatting on the ice.Read more...
Report: Los Angeles Will Be Saddled With The Chargers For At Least 20 Years
The Los Angeles Chargers are currently in a tiny stadium that can max out its capacity at 27,000. They’ve become a concern for the league’s other owners in terms of viability. Also, no one really cares about them since their true fanbase is in San Diego. But here’s some relief: They’ll be locked into L.A. for a…Read more...
Cricket Dingus Caught Napping, Is Run Out Like A Dingus
Day three of the second cricket Test match between Pakistan and Australia was most notable for one big-ass gaffe. Pakistan’s Azhar Ali was batting. He hit the ball. Ali, who had already hit 64, including four boundaries, thought this ball was also headed for the boundary—netting him an automatic four runs. So sure, in…Read more...
Why The NFL Dumped Its Anthem Policy
NEW YORK — The NFL was really feeling itself at this week’s fall meetings in lower Manhattan. Scoring is through the roof! Games are historically close! Ratings are up! Concussions are down! It was impossible to chat up a league official without being reminded of how swell things are going, and ain’t it grand?Read more...
Seattle Truck Blows Load, Empties Balls
A truck lost its load of metal balls yesterday afternoon, sending 44,000 pounds of projectiles gleefully bouncing down one of Seattle’s steep streets. Balls everywhere, what a mess!!!!!Read more...
Animation Festival Drops Kobe Bryant After Protest Over 2003 Rape Allegation
Oscar-winning cartoon maker Kobe Bryant was set to be a jury member on this weekend’s second annual Animation Is Film, a Los Angeles-based film festival, but organizers rescinded his invitation after the animation community protested the inclusion of “accused rapist and sexual predator Kobe Bryant.” The news was first…Read more...
What Is John Elway Talking About In This Inane Political Ad?
As a general rule, vague political advertisements are vague for a reason. Everything is broken and sinking and extremely on fire, but we’re not yet at the level of Shitworld where unpopular and unappealing ideas can effectively be presented as themselves and on their own merits. We are heading in this direction, but…Read more...
Chloe Kim Nails Trick No Woman Has Ever Done In Competition
My fellow shredders, get a load of Olympic conqueror Chloe Kim landing this super rad frontside double cork 1080 on a halfpipe in Switzerland.
Hey, Here's an Idea: Let's Just Not Trick People About Voting
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say, hey, maybe let’s not deceive people when it involves matters of voting, at all, period.
The NFL Is Screwing Over Defenses, And I Love It!
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here.
After U.S. Open Debacle, Serena Williams's Coach Says Coaching Rules Should Be Changed
Serena Williams’s long-time coach Patrick Mouratoglou—who, during the U.S. Open final in September, was deemed by the chair umpire to have coached Williams from his seat in the stands, thereby earning her a code violation, which set off one of the weirdest and most controversial sports meltdowns ever—today posted a…Read more...
Referee Joins Fans' Goal Celebration, Sips Beer Off The Ground
A great judgment call from a true professional.Read more...
DeAndre Ayton Is Good
The sorry-ass Mavericks lost to the sorry-ass Suns in Phoenix last night, thanks mostly to a fourth-quarter explosion from Devin Booker. These two teams will most likely be headed south sometime around the all-star break, so the only reason to tune in would have been to check out the NBA debuts of Luka Dončić and…Read more...
Elfrid Payton Has Neat New Hair And Neat New Teammates
Some of the uncertainty coming into this season, for the New Orleans Pelicans, concerned the departure of Rajon Rondo, who played an important role in the team’s strong finish last season and then left in free agency, and his replacement, Elfrid Payton. If, like mine, your brain has been turned to slush by worms and…Read more...
Kevin Durant Laughs Off Joe Lacob's Plea To Re-Sign With Warriors
Kudos to The Athletic’s Anthony Slater for inspecting a deeply unholy NBA rite closely enough to spot something wonderful. Had you watched the Warriors ring presentation as carefully as The Athletic’s Anthony Slater, you would’ve seen Kevin Durant walk over to Warriors owner Joe Lacob, only for the team’s head …Read more...
Do The Capitals Or Golden Knights Have Any Chance Of Doing It Again?
The combatants in last season’s Stanley Cup Final met a week into this young season and the rematch looked like a mismatch. The Capitals rode their hot offensive start to a 5-2 victory over the Golden Knights, who now have a 3-4-0 record that has commentators revving up their “I told you they were a fluke” takes. On…Read more...
The Perfect Wrestler
By March 2015, wrestler Kyle Snyder was used to winning. He had gone 179-0 against high school competition and won the world under-20 championships at just 17. Then, in 2015, his freshman year at Ohio State, Snyder lost the NCAA heavyweight final to Iowa State senior Kyven Gadson. Immediately afterward, Snyder…Read more...
NBA Developmental League To Offer $125,000 Contracts To Top High School Prospects
The NBA’s developmental league has unveiled a program that could greatly loosen the NCAA’s grip on top high school basketball prospects. The league will begin offering what it calls “Select Contracts” that pay $125,000 for one year to just-graduated high school players who would rather forgo a one-and-done year at the…Read more...
It's Apparently Time To Recap The First 3/8 Of The NFL Season
Wow, there sure are a lot of sports happening right now. Ordinarily that would be the sort of sentence that you’d end with an exclamation point, but honestly a period of this much sports—the giddy but tension-free start of the NBA season, which is already happening, the giddier and extremely tense end of baseball’s…Read more...
You've Found A Mysterious Race Car Lost To History. Now What?
On the track, it racked up wins. Off the track, it racked up rumor. Its speed was a dream come true. Its handling could be a nightmare. And when the race car vanished, it became the stuff of legend and lore.Read more...
Emergency Football Show Weekly: The Roughing The Passer Rule Continues To Vex Defenders
It’s the second episode of Emergency Football Show Weekly, and what are we talking about this week? Lots! We discuss Antonio Brown’s game-winning catch against the Bengals, the continued roughing the passer rule controversy and, of course, Dick Stockton calling the Denver Broncos “the Denver Nuggets.”
Thank God The Boban Show Is Back
Nothing changes the complexion of an NBA game, or the welfare of its hoop apparatus, faster or more decisively than the release of Boban. The Nuggets knew this, but had no one who could impede him. The Clippers knew it, but they also know that Boban’s is a power that can be harnessed only for precious minutes at a…Read more...
No One's Really Sure What The Dolphins Did With Ryan Tannehill
Brocktober rolls on, as the Dolphins have announced that Brock Osweiler will be under center Sunday’s game against Detroit, his second straight start after replacing Ryan Tannehill, who was a game-day scratch with a shoulder injury in Week 6. What exactly Tannehill’s injury is, and how it got so bad so suddenly, is…Read more...
EartherHere’s Where the Post-Apocalyptic Water Wars Will Be Fought | KotakuRed Dead Redemption 2 D
Earther Here’s Where the Post-Apocalyptic Water Wars Will Be Fought | Kotaku Red Dead Redemption 2 Developers Speak Out After Rockstar Lifts Social Media Ban | Jalopnik City Seizes and Crushes Dude’s BMW While He Was Getting Surgery | Lifehacker How to Demand Action on Climate Change | The Takeout 5 tips for choosing…Read more...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Adds Ridiculous Free-Kick Goal To MLS Highlight Reel
Former Manchester United star Wayne Rooney’s first season in MLS was already a huge success before last night’s game against Toronto. He came into it with nine goals and seven assists in 18 appearances, and as the owner of one of the best soccer highlights you’ll ever see. In the 18th minute of last night’s game,…Read more...
Save 30% On The Cole Haan Shoes Shoes You've Been Eyeing During Their Semi-Annual Sale
Cole Haan is definitely a brand that can make you think twice on account of the price. So when they kick off a semi-annual sale, it’s the perfect time to act. Every full priced item they sell is 30% off, including 2.ZERØGRANDs and the sweater-like ZERØGRANDs with Stitchlite wool, which I just wrote about yesterday.Read more...
Joe West Tries To Explain That Fan Interference Call
The Red Sox took a 3-1 lead in the ALCS by winning Game 4 by two runs. The Astros had a two-run homer wiped out by a truly confounding ruling of fan interference. That’s the math for a call that could be remembered for a very, very long time.
Stock Up On Your Favorite Snacks During Amazon's One-Day Happy Belly Sale
Amazon’s Happy Belly brand makes some surprisingly good snacks, and a bunch of them are deeply discounted in today’s Amazon Gold Box. Save on nuts, sunflower seeds, and trail mixes, with extra discounts available if you use Subscribe & Save.
Andrew Benintendi Puts Boston One Win Away From World Series With Diving Catch
It’s certainly less-than-ideal for a team to be up less than four runs in the bottom of the ninth with the bases loaded and an All-Star at the plate. It’s even worse when that All-Star is batting over .400 in the postseason. But that’s exactly where Craig Kimbrel was in facing Alex Bregman late Wednesday night with…Read more...
Former USA Gymnastics CEO Steven Penny Indicted, Arrested For Tampering With Evidence In Larry Nassar Case
Former USA Gymnastics president and CEO Steve Penny has been arrested after a grand jury indicted him for tampering with evidence related to the investigation into years of sexual abuse of athletes by former national team doctor Larry Nassar, according to officials in Walker County, Texas. He was indicted by a Walker…Read more...
Blake Griffin Had A Bad Start To His Season Thanks To Jarrett Allen
We all wondered what the high-flying Blake Griffin would look in the latter stages of his career when he could no longer consistently rely on his athleticism for buckets like he once used to. Thankfully, Jarrett Allen was there to answer that question for us tonight.
Jamaica Earns Country's First-Ever Women's World Cup Berth
Jamaica’s women’s national team will be going to the World Cup for the first time in the team’s history after beating Panama on penalties in the third-place game at the CONCACAF qualifying tournament. With this win, the team also becomes the first Caribbean nation ever to qualify for the Women’s World Cup.Read more...
Fan Robs Jose Altuve Of Game-Tying Dinger, Or Maybe Robs Mookie Betts Of Spectacular Catch
The Astros got off to a bad start in ALCS Game 4, going down 2-0 in the first inning. But in the bottom half of the frame, it looked like Jose Altuve’s mighty swing would quickly reset the score, when he smashed a ball into the first row in right field for what could have been a home run.
Knicks Fan Scores From Half-Court Before His Team Makes A Field Goal
The NBA’s schedule-makers were kind to the New York Knicks, giving them an evenly-matched opponent for their home opener: the Atlanta Hawks. As expected, almost two minutes of game time passed before either team scored, but the Hawks soon took early control of the game. They went up 10-2 on the Knicks, forcing coach…Read more...
Mar Ibarra, Mexican Women's Soccer Pioneer, Found Beaten To Death
Marbella “Mar” Ibarra—one of the foremost promoters of women’s soccer in Mexico—was found dead early Monday morning in El Rosarito, Baja California, according to that state’s attorney general. Her body was found covered in a blanket, and her hands and feet were tied, El Sol de Tijuana reported. She previously had been…Read more...
Should Khabib Nurmagomedov Fight Floyd Mayweather? A Very Short Debate
No.Read more...
Iranian Official: Women Will Not Be Allowed Into Soccer Stadiums Again Because "Half-Naked" Athletes Will Make Them Too Horny
Yesterday, Iran put together a cheap little PR stunt in order to pretend the government cares about its wildly retrograde prohibition against women attending live soccer matches by allowing a handpicked selection of ladies to enter Azadi Stadium to watch a friendly match between Iran and Bolivia. However, Iranian…Read more...
Craig Counsell Pulled His Game 5 Starter After One Batter, On Purpose
Left-handed pitcher Wade Miley appeared to be the Brewers’ starter for Game 5 of the NLCS today. And technically, he was. But after Miley gave up a lead-off walk in the first, Brewers manager Craig Counsell immediately went out to the mound and gave Miley the hook, replacing him with the right-handed long reliever…Read more...
WWE Is Not Handling The Backlash To Its Saudi Deal Very Well
Six days ago, WWE was in an uncomfortable position regarding its upcoming Crown Jewel event in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, the second card in a 10-year contract with the kingdom believed to be worth $20–$50 million per show. Saudi Arabia’s brutal war of attrition in Yemen and, more recently, Turkey’s insistence that the…Read more...
City Seizes and Crushes Dude’s BMW While He Was Getting Surgery
Imagine you have have to go to the hospital for a bit of surgery. You leave your car safe and sound in its parking space, reasonably expecting it to be there when you get back. That wasn’t the case for a man only identified as “Mr. G,” whose BMW was mistakenly seized and crushed by his local government in a case of…Read more...
Teen Baked Her Grandpa's Ashes Into Sugar Cookies, Fed Them To Peers
Andy Knox, a student at Da Vinci Charter Academy in California, told KRCA-TV how he came across the dead grandpa cookies. “Two weeks ago, I was just about to go into my sixth-period class, environmental science, and a girl who was also in the class stopped me and asked me if I wanted a cookie. And I knew her, so I…Read more...
MLB Buys Astros' "We Were Only Taking Pictures Of Other Teams' Dugouts To Make Sure They Weren't Cheating" Defense
In the second-pettiest looming controversy of this postseason, Houston had been accused by both the Indians and Red Sox of having a man working for the Astros standing in the camera well, using a cell phone camera to capture images of their dugouts. MLB has come out swiftly and strongly on the matter: It doesn’t care.
Kevin Durant's Brother's Instagram Comment Definitely Means That Kevin Won't Re-Sign With The Warriors
Kevin Durant and the Golden State Warriors yawned through their win in Wednesday’s season opener against the Thunder. Durant had 27 points, eight boards, and six assists, and he seemed to have a nice, chill time playing with his buddies after everyone received their championship rings. Fittingly, he celebrated with a…Read more...
David Ortiz Went Nuts In The Studio For Jackie Bradley Jr.'s Grand Slam
A transcript to the best of our abilities, for the hearing impaired, can be found below:Read more...
Ellen DeGeneres, Drunk With Power, Tries To Set Up Naomi Osaka With Michael B. Jordan
Life came fast at Naomi Osaka. After she skipped the hype machine of the junior circuit, went pro, and won some local fame in Japan, Osaka won her first professional title of any kind at Indian Wells this year, and her second at (sheesh) the U.S. Open. Within days of hoisting that second trophy, she found herself on …Read more...
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