Lowering the Bar

Mine certainly does. Related StoriesFood Blogger Fined for Eating Great White SharkAre Honeybees a “Dangerous Weapon”?California Supreme Court: We Don't Think Bees Are Fish

New Mexico would be the first, but I hope not the last, state to adopt an official smell.

Children K-12 could only be taught "indisputable" facts (if any). Related StoriesThe Best Brief Ever Written Is an Amicus Brief on Behalf of The OnionAuthor of “How to Murder Your Husband” Convicted of Murdering HusbandLegislator Regrets Appearing for Session via Zoom From Toilet Stall

Probably better than federal prison.

Not a decision you should rely upon. Related StoriesFrench Court Recognizes Basic Human Right Not to Be “Fun”Geoffrey Chaucer Cleared of Rape AllegationFlatulent Barrister Loses Flatulence-Discrimination Case

Reason for hope? Probably not. Related StoriesPartisan Split in Montana Over Which District Gets to Be “District One”

GEICO isn't off the hook yet, but this may (or may not) help. Related StoriesBalloonist's Lawyer Says Ex-Parrots Died Simultaneously of Natural CausesParents Sue Their Son, Demanding Grandchild or $650,000 in Compensation

"Thanks so much for this memento of my failure," Chief Inspector Abberline probably said. Related StoriesGeoffrey Chaucer Cleared of Rape AllegationRussian Lawmaker Says He Wants Alaska BackBill Would Authorize Letter of Marque and Reprisal to Whoever Will Steal Putin's Yacht

I'm not sure this included his arrest, but I hope so. Related StoriesSuspect Claiming Mistaken Identity Says Someone Tattooed Him Without His KnowledgeLegislator Regrets Appearing for Session via Zoom From Toilet StallREMINDER: Choose an Alias That Doesn't Already Appear on a Warrant

In this edition: a bad night to steal, another rock'n'roll lawsuit, a judicial mooning, and a reminder that it is illegal to taunt a police dog. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #152Assorted Stupidity #151Assorted Stupidity #150

At long last. Related StoriesGeoffrey Chaucer Cleared of Rape AllegationFlatulent Barrister Loses Flatulence-Discrimination CaseCourt: “Kill Four People, That's Grounds for Termination”

An injustice that must be punished. Related StoriesNirvana Beats Former Baby's LawsuitTwenty-One-Octillion-Dollar Demand Still Not a Record

Someone also "tampered with" his fingerprints, among other diabolical acts meant to frame this plainly innocent man. Related StoriesSurveillance-Camera Thief Captures Complete Record of His CrimeBalloonist's Lawyer Says Ex-Parrots Died Simultaneously of Natural CausesPLEASE NOTE: Exhibits Must Be Defused Before Offering Them Into Evidence

Or was he? Related StoriesFrench Court Recognizes Basic Human Right Not to Be “Fun”Flatulent Barrister Loses Flatulence-Discrimination CaseRussian Lawmaker Says He Wants Alaska Back

It was just their time, Your Honor. Related StoriesSuspect Claiming Mistaken Identity Says Someone Tattooed Him Without His KnowledgeParents Sue Their Son, Demanding Grandchild or $650,000 in CompensationMan Charged With Driving Into House Three Times Explains That His “Foot Slipped”

Neither death involved a shotgun. Related StoriesNirvana Beats Former Baby's LawsuitAlex Jones' Lawyers May Have Mistakenly Sent Evidence of Perjury to Opposing CounselLast Salem Witch Finally Cleared

Might depend how you use them, but probably yes. Related StoriesCalifornia Supreme Court: We Don't Think Bees Are FishCalifornia County Bans Wild Cow MilkingDid Congress Forgive All Your Debts by Passing a Law Nobody Knows About Because of 9/11?

The court's order stops approximately 75% of the madness. Related StoriesStudy: Bad Writing Makes Legal Documents Hard to ReadAnother Former President Moves to Intervene in Mar-a-Lago CaseMotion to Go F*#& Yourselves

Certainly the funniest. Related StoriesAuthor of “How to Murder Your Husband” Convicted of Murdering HusbandBill Would Authorize Letter of Marque and Reprisal to Whoever Will Steal Putin's YachtJury to Decide Whether Officers Have Qualified Immunity for Tasing a Guy in the Crotch

From the estate of Tom Girardi, who stole millions from clients and spent some of it on these fancy shoes. Related StoriesDoes It Violate the Ethics Rules to Cheat on an Ethics Test?Court Holds That Practicing Law From a Jail Cell May Violate Some Ethics RulesJudge Censured for Cane-Flinging Incident

So please don't say we do. Because we don't! Related StoriesCalifornia County Bans Wild Cow MilkingCourt Says Bees Are FishAre Honeybees a “Dangerous Weapon”?

I didn't even know this was a thing, and now it's gone. Related StoriesCalifornia Supreme Court: We Don't Think Bees Are FishCourt Says Bees Are FishLast Salem Witch Finally Cleared

How much research do you need to believe this? Here's some more.

Come as you are, leave with nothing. Related StoriesTwenty-One-Octillion-Dollar Demand Still Not a Record

In this edition: cyberflashing, cyberghosting, a lesson in irony, and a really terrific candidate for judge in Kentucky. Related StoriesAssorted Stupidity #151Assorted Stupidity #150Assorted Stupidity #149

It's probably not the one you're thinking of. Related StoriesMotion to Go F*#& Yourselves

He's also entitled to prejudgment interest, though, which can really add up.

Could it be true? Related StoriesDoes It Violate the Ethics Rules to Cheat on an Ethics Test?Court Holds That Practicing Law From a Jail Cell May Violate Some Ethics Rules

You may be entitled to compensation (but probably not).

This led to what Jones himself referred to as a "Perry Mason moment." Oops! Related StoriesLast Salem Witch Finally Cleared