Schlock Mercenary

My friend Myke Cole is on TV again, this time on the Discovery Channel’s CONTACT, in which he, Mike Livingston, Sarah Cruddas, Nick Karnaze, Kawa Mawlayee, and Paul Beban, go hunting for answers to the question “have extraterrestrials made contact with humankind?” This show is a LOT of fun. I did some fan art after episode one (before Paul and Kawa were introduced) and while I don’t actually expect the crew to find aliens to autopsy, they’re doing a fine job of making the case for alien visitation VERY hard to refute. If I have a complaint, it’s that the show isn’t giving enough time to the asking of properly skeptical questions. That might be a choice made in the editing bay, however, because in my personal interactions with Myke, and my online interactions with Mike and Sarah, I get the impression that they’re very critical thinkers. Not the sorts of people to hunt flying saucers with butterfly nets. My caricature does them a terrible disservice. CONTACT airs on Wednesday nights on the Discovery Channel, and is available to cable subscribers for streaming on Discovery Go.

It’s Tuesday! That means tonight at 9pm Eastern I’ll be streaming¹ our Gods of Vareon D&D game with Dan Wells, Brian McClellan, Mari Murdock, Charlie Holmberg, and Ethan Sproat. Last week Ethan took a shot of 140k Scoville hot sauce every time someone subscribed. This week we’ll do something different. I’ve offered to do a sketch based on each new subscriber’s suggestion, but ultimately it’s up to Dan². Previous sessions are available on YouTube, but as an incentive to tune in on Twitch, the live show has a live-only after-party³, in which we take questions from the chat, and get randomly silly. ¹ Technically, our producer, the inimitable and ever-youthful Donald Mustard the Third will be doing all the streaming. The rest of us are just on camera when he works his magic.

I saw the trailer for Ready or Not while watching Zombie Tidal Wave over on SyFy this weekend, and my verdict is that this made Zombie Tidal Wave worth it. My ticket alone probably doesn’t cover the ad spend for the studio, but it’s a start. Thank you for thinking of me! Ready or Not is a tender, uplifting rom-com about spending the night playing hide-and-seek with your new in-laws who happen to also be clumsy-yet-determined serial murderers seeking to appease their dark lord. So, y’know… a nice break from superhero films. Also, not particularly tender or uplifting. It didn’t quite cross my Threshold of Awesome because I don’t like being tense, or jump-scared, and it was only almost as funny as I was hoping it would be, but I definitely enjoyed myself. It did not disappoint, however. If I’d been with a couple of like-minded friends I would have been laughing out loud instead of on the inside, and that might have been better. For me. Maybe not for my friends. The R-rating is for gore and language, and there are generous helpings of both.

I play Bard Odrak Ironthroat over at TypecastRPG, and in a very literally typecast manner, I’m a playing a bard who can draw. During each game session I sketch key moments, interpreting them for posterity so that the truth of our party’s epic ineptitude will be obscured by the tales our descendants tell about us. THESE SKETCHES CAN BE YOURS For our first giveaway, follow TypeCastRPG on Twitter or Instagram, and then give this tweet an RT and a like. Obviously, the pictures will have more meaning for you if you’re watching us play. Previous sessions are available on YouTube, and we’re live on Twitch every Tuesday at 9pm Eastern. As an incentive to tune in on Twitch, the live show has a live-only “after party,” in which we take questions from the chat, and get randomly silly, secure in the knowledge that THIS part won’t end up on YouTube¹. We haven’t gotten the ArtCam to work yet (my fault – my camera had 0 HP and failed its death saves) but future feeds may show off exactly how sloppy I am as I create these cards. Future giveaways may happen on the TypecastRPG Instagram or Facebook accounts. Your home page for all things TypecastRPG is TypecastRPG.com, where you can find links to our social media feeds, as well as helpful summaries of previous game sessions. ¹ I have it on good authority that the internet is really good at forgetting embarrassing things.

You may recall my surprise when I loved The Angry Birds Movie, and enjoyed it more than I enjoyed Captain America: Civil War. That’s a pretty high bar to clear, especially for a sequel, but The Angry Birds Movie 2 takes a really good run at it, and, at least in places, out-performs the first film for me. Here’s a metric. I almost laughed myself unconscious one time (something which I can actually do thanks to asthma). The first film almost did that to me three times. (So, three times it almost did it.) This doesn’t mean the first film is three times better, or three times funnier—just that it surprised me more. And I suppose that’s more my fault than it is the film’s. I study humor for a living, and went into The Angry Birds Movie 2 expecting some amazing joke-craft, so I was (mostly) ready for it. YMMV, of course. The Angry Birds Movie 2 may have an oddly-constructed title (is there an extra word in there?) but it crosses my Threshold of Awesome nonetheless. I’ll be buying the Blu-Ray, too, because re-watching these films and studying the way the animators, writers, and voice actors work together to craft a joke is, in fact, part of my job, making the disc a business expense. I’m super fortunate that there are no laws against business expenses being fun, because this film is a lot of fun.

The F³ (Fast and Furious Franchise) is now the FFCU (Fast and Furious Cinematic Universe) and I’m just fine with that. Hobbs & Shaw crosses my Threshold of Awesome, and if you can accept that it’s just a sans-a-cape superhero film, I suspect you’ll enjoy it as much as I did. My Suspenders of Disbelief went TWANG and my Trousers of Sit Here And Have Fun stayed on just fine. BRAIN: “Cars don’t work that way”

Watch me tonight at 9pm Eastern on Twitch! Tonight’s episode is the next installment of the Gods of Vaeron story, using the D&D 5e ruleset. Dan Wells is our Dungeon Master, and the players will be Natasha Ence, Mari Murdock, Charlie Holmberg, Ethan Sproat, and Howard Tayler (←me). I’ve been experimenting a bit with sketch cards during the game sessions. It’s possible we’ll have our art cam up and running tonight. Eventually these cards will be giveaways for our Twitch subscribers. It’s possible we’ll figure THAT out tonight, too, and start putting things in the mail!

I’m in Indianapolis for GenCon Indy this week. You can find me at Booth 1749 with Jim Zub, Sandra Tayler, and our outstanding booth crew: Darrin, Robin, and Mike. I don’t have any panel scheduling this year, which is kind of awesome for me. Also, it’s awesome for YOU, because you’re more likely to be able to find me in the exhibit hall¹. I’m bringing my markers this year, along with about 100 sketch cards. Do you want a 100% original piece of artwork? Maybe have me do a Schlock-ish version of your Shadowrun character? NO PROBLEM. Just bring money². Jim and I will have all kinds of merchandise: Skullkickers troves, Schlock Mercenary boxed sets, Wayward books, Planet Mercenary RPG worldbooks, dice, and cards, and we’ll have just a few pre-release copies of the brand new Wayward board game. We’ll both be at GenCon Indy through the end of the show on Sunday, but don’t wait until then to find us. We run out of stuff every year. ¹ I do sometimes take breaks. If you follow me on Twitter you’ll be able to see whether or not I’ve scheduled myself for one.

It’s with deep regret that today I fly into Indianapolis instead of streaming with the TypecastRPG team¹. You see, tonight Charlie Holmberg will be running a D&D 5e session² in which all the worldbuilding comes from Candyland. Yeah, THAT Candyland. By the time I arrive at my hotel the session will be over. I’m going to miss the whole thing. Don’t be like me. Be like twitch.tv/typecastrpg ¹ I became a full-time cast member a few weeks ago. You’ll see me onscreen again next week.