MALIBU, CA-Insisting that situations such as this compelled the federal government to act immediately, former presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. told reporters Monday that he was demanding Secret Service protection after finding a Cheez-It on his kitchen floor. Today, I'm calling on the White House to move with swiftness and urgency to provide me [...]The post RFK Jr. Demands Secret Service Protection After Finding Cheez-It On Kitchen Floor appeared first on The Onion.