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This was first published as “Pillar of the Post” in the May 20, 1976 issue of The National Observer. It appears here with the author’s permission.

Rob Gronkowski, a 6-foot-5 steed who loves to gallop real fast, has purchased a minority stake in Gronkowski, a 6-foot-5 steed who loves to gallop real fast.Read more...

With over 10,000 reviews and 4.1 stars, Bedtime Bliss’s sleep mask set includes ear plus and a carrying case, which will help you block out the world for just $12 after you clip the $1 off coupon. One dollar doesn’t sound like a lot, but this mask pretty much never goes on sale. Plus, if it helps you get more sleep…Read more...

Poor José Bautista. The former Blue Jays slugger had six straight All-Star campaigns for the Jays and banged out one of the most iconic playoff home runs of the decade. But instead of settling into the second or third year of one last long-term contract, the 37-year-old has wound up in the Braves’ infield.

Here’s a tweet that confirms something already known: NFL draft scouting can often be extremely dumb and completely ridiculous.Read more...

If the 2017 season marked the sudden, vague decline of Novak Djokovic, the early 2018 season was him bottoming out. He showed up in Monte Carlo this week with a 3-3 record, having not won a match since January. In March, he lost two straight matches. He hadn’t even lost two—let alone three—matches in a row since the…Read more...

WrestleMania weekend, in its current form, only dates back to 2014. That was when, after having tried to work together the prior year, the Wrestlecon autograph show and the WWN family of independent promotions began running competing sets of shows in WrestleMania’s host city. One building would host the all-star…Read more...

For essentially the duration of Anthony Davis’s career, the Pelicans have been knocked for being a one-man team with precious little depth, no wing players, and little dynamism to their offense that doesn’t start and finish with Davis. The addition of DeMarcus Cousins helped allay the severity of this problem, but…Read more...

We’re just over a week out from Avengers: Infinity War, and folks, I’m a wreck.

Bases-loaded jams can be tense, but Jermaine Curtis of the Rochester Red Wings found it to be the best opportunity to clown a baserunner. The Twins’ Triple-A affiliate was down 4-3 to the Charlotte Knights in the fourth inning Tuesday when Curtis tested out the hidden-ball trick on Kevan Smith, who took one step off…Read more...

Are you feeling tired and stressed lately by semi-famous teenagers like Woah Vicky and Bhad Bhabie, who appear in headlines for elusive reasons? Does hearing the phrase “hi bich” send you into a downward spiral? Do you read the words “Lil Tay, 9, clapped back at Danielle Bregoli” and want to scream and scream and…Read more...

Brett Favre, the Hall of Fame quarterback, flubbed his recent audition to replace Jon Gruden as an analyst on Monday Night Football, according to the New York Post. Favre has been credibly accused of workplace sexual harassment by multiple women. He has never apologized. That he would even get the chance to audition…Read more...

Niko “k1to” Gruhne has been suspended from the Faceit Pro League for a month after he made a racist comment during a pick-up Counter-Strike session.

Virtually any day of the year, there is no real reason why you or anyone else should be watching CNBC. If you are someone who follows or cares about financial news, you really probably shouldn’t be watching television to keep up with it. If you are someone who likes watching a bunch of gray-faced old sourpusses sit at…Read more...

The competitive part of last night’s Game 2 between the Toronto Raptors and Washington Wizards was over, long over, by the time some combination of shame and embarrassment sparked a smidgen of detectable pride or competitive intensity in any Washington player. The result was a laughably misleading 11-point margin of…Read more...

The headline on ESPN scoopmaster Adam Schefter’s latest report about Tom Brady—“Sources: Tom Brady has yet to commit to playing ‘18 season for Pats”—probably won’t get your juices flowing. “Yet to commit” doesn’t mean he won’t, or that he’s even been asked to, and so I imagine you’ll go into the story not expecting…Read more...

After Angels pitcher Shohei Ohtani started the season on a tear, hitting .367 with three homers through eight games, and posting two dominant starts that featured a five-inning stretch with 65 pitches and 10 strikeouts, it seemed his only kryptonite would be an eventual regression to numbers resembling normalcy. Enter…Read more...

Bucks point guard Eric Bledsoe has not played very well in his team’s first two playoff games against the Boston Celtics, and his squad is now down 0-2 in the series. Bledsoe is shooting just 36 percent from the field in the series, and has been thoroughly outplayed by Boston’s backup-turned-starting point guard,…Read more...

Although it looks exactly like a leg stretching medieval torture device, this Teeter Inversion Table can actually be quite helpful for those who suffer from back pain, sciatica, herniated discs, and more. Today, you can get this normally-$400+ table for just $229, if you don’t mind getting refurbished one.Read more...

You might not have an immediate need for a pressure washer, but if you own a home, it’s a useful thing to stash in the back or your garage. Today only, Amazon’s spraying out deals on a couple different models from GreenWorks, plus a bunch of accessories.

Marc-André Fleury is dominating the NHL playoffs again, and the expansion Vegas Golden Knights are cruising to the second round for the first time ever in their first opportunity ever. Vegas beat the Kings 1-0 Tuesday night to sweep their opening round opponents, and they’re the first team to get a playoff sweep in…Read more...

The Pelicans went up 2-0 on the Blazers in their first-round series Tuesday night with a 111-102 road win. They did this thanks in part to main man Anthony Davis—who picked up a 22-point double-double—but mostly because point guard Jrue Holiday took the game over and willed the Pelicans to a narrow victory with a…Read more...

Shohei Ohtani had his first truly bad game of his young MLB career tonight, as the Japanese phenom only pitched two rocky innings against the Red Sox before he got pulled by his manager. Mookie Betts set the tone for the outing, hitting a 3-2 pitch into left-center field for a lead-off homer, and Ohtani couldn’t quite…Read more...

It had been two games of the same script so far in the Capitals-Blue Jackets series—Washington loses on a gut punch in overtime—but tonight, the Caps themselves actually caught a bit of luck, as they survived double overtime to beat Columbus on the road in Game 3, 3-2.Read more...

The Boston Celtics are generally broken and injured for this year’s playoffs, but after a 120-106 win to take a 2-0 series lead over the Bucks, they’re in prime position to survive at least the first round. And for both of the Celtics’ wins so far in the postseason, they owe a huge debt to Jaylen Brown, the sophomore…Read more...

Cleveland and Minnesota are playing baseball in San Juan tonight, which marks Puerto Rico’s first meaningful MLB game since 2010. That makes this otherwise pretty random April match-up extremely meaningful for Cleveland’s most lovable player—shortstop Francisco Lindor. Lindor was born in Caguas, 20 miles from San…Read more...

ESPN basketball reporter Adrian Wojnarowski dropped an enticing little anecdote on his most recent podcast, which was noticed today by an astute Reddit sleuth. Woj was talking to Bobby Marks about the NBA season’s hotly contested tank-off and said an owner recently yelled at his coach for winning a game. “I know of an…Read more...

A trendpiece’s worth of baseball games have already been canceled this season because of inclement/completely seasonal weather, and also because of a hole in the Blue Jays’ roof. Jackie Robinson Day as well as the Red Sox’s Marathon Monday were hamstrung by poor playing conditions. Cubs first baseman Anthony Rizzo,…Read more...

God, I feel so bad for Jurickson Profar. Once the consensus top overall prospect in baseball, Profar has spent the last few years sustaining and sort-of-recovering-from a series of increasingly strange injuries. That bad luck has reduced him from a franchise cornerstone to a guy who, at 25, mostly seems like someone…Read more...

League One side Shrewsbury Town dropped a 2-0 match to Charlton Athletic this afternoon, with the clincher coming right at the end of the second half. Shrewsbury keeper Dean Henderson tried to clear the rock out of his half, but instead he punted it into the air, lost track of it, and served up a tasty assist for Josh…Read more...

Unpaid bills. Allegations of abusive treatment. Explosive text messages. Car companies leaving for a competing series. Once, Red Bull Global Rallycross seemed like a bright spot in the racing world: action-packed events popular with young fans where Subarus, Volkswagens and more flew across dirt and asphalt courses.…Read more...

According to a report from the Orlando Sentinel, Florida State quarterback Deondre Francois spent the last two months under surveillance by the Tallahassee police department because someone convinced them that he was selling weed.Read more...

Katy Gaines made her world debut on a billboard ad for a health food store in Portugal. Shortly afterwards, she popped up hawking cell phone data on the side of a bus in Oslo. Even in Orange County, where Gaines grew up, a friend recognized her on the pamphlet for a teeth whitening treatment. She’s been everywhere.…Read more...

Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers is “frustrated” because the team’s front office didn’t consult him about a couple of personnel decisions this offseason, according to a report from Yahoo’s Charles Robinson. Quarterbacks coach Alex Van Pelt walked after last season because he believed he had a better chance of…Read more...

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking about shitty local announcers, eyeballs, scrambled eggs, and more.

With sexual abuse scandals plaguing USA Gymnastics, USA Swimming, and USA Taekwondo, the national governing body for wrestling is putting bizarre new policies in place that will subject those who cover the sport to harsher protocols.

Lawyers for Stormy Daniels released a sketched drawing of a man that Daniels says threatened her in a parking lot in 2011 after her alleged affair with Donald Trump. The goon is described as being a handsome fellow between 5-foot-9 and 6-foot, with a “lean but fit” profile.

No one told Catherine Emery what labor would feel like. Just past her 24th birthday and about as optimistic as a person can be, she had done what most expectant mothers making quick calculations about out-of-pocket health care costs do: She hoped for the best. Giving birth was a natural process, she reasoned. The body…Read more...

When I was in second or third grade, my teacher made our class write a “research paper,” essentially a long book report. I was a big dork and big into football history—at one point I was going to try to focus on the 1948 Philadelphia Eagles—and eventually did my report on O.J. Simpson.Read more...

The New York Mets entered Monday night’s game against the Nationals with the National League’s best record, its sturdiest bullpen, and a way-too-early-to-matter 36 percent chance of winning their division. They carried a 6-1 lead into the eighth, then sent their fans home feeling awful thanks to the most Mets-ass…Read more...

The men’s and women’s races at Monday’s Boston Marathon were won by two of the unlikeliest people. Desi Linden was the first American woman to win Boston since the race became fully professional in 1986; the men’s race was won by Yuki Kawauchi, who isn’t really a professional. (He has a full-time government job in…Read more...

Last night, Michigan linebacker Elysee Mbem-Bosse sent a series of semi-threatening tweets, including one in which he tagged Wolverines head coach Jim Harbaugh. The tweets have since been deleted; thanks to the quick-thinking folks over at Reddit CFB, you can view screenshots of the tweets below:Read more...

Mascots are a common sight at soccer matches. Traditionally, these take the form of cute little children who escort the players onto the pitch to start a match. Sometimes, as was the case before a game in Russia this weekend, the cute little children are swapped out in favor of a huge fucking bear:Read more...

In the weeks leading up to Carli Lloyd’s home debut with Sky Blue FC, the ticket requests came fast and furious from her friends and family. But by the time the Delran, N.J. native and women’s soccer icon stepped on Yurcak Field Sunday afternoon, the headcount had diminished greatly. The prospect of watching a soccer…Read more...

They have to say they believe they can win, of course. More than that, they have to actually believe that it’s at least possible, or they would not be the sorts of people capable of claiming the West’s seventh playoff seed with a roster that looks like somebody sat on a keyboard. None of the rest of us are bound by…Read more...

If ever you needed evidence that even when video replay is right it can still be horribly wrong, yesterday’s Bundesliga match between Mainz and Freiburg should serve as just that.Read more...

The Spurs are down 0-2 to the Warriors in their first-round playoff series, and Kawhi Leonard is not with the team. The reasons for that are still somehow impossibly murky—Leonard has been dealing with an injured quad muscle all year; he may or may not have been healthy enough to play for some time now; he may or may…Read more...

A soda can-sized projector, a Dewalt drill combo pack, boating and fishing gear, and more are all part of today’s best deals.

It’s been three years since Chris Borland decided to retire from the NFL after one season, citing concerns about the long-term effects of head trauma. Borland continues to advocate for players’ health initiatives—and for health initiatives for U.S. military personnel and their families.

It’s true that the Miami Heat dominated most of last night’s Game 2 against the Sixers, only wobbling late in the fourth quarter before being steadied once again by Dwyane Wade. It’s true that Wade was spectacular, and hewed much closer to the 2010 version of himself than the player he’s been recently. It’s also true…Read more...