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Updated 2025-07-14 08:30
Here's What You'll Face When You Try to Invade Area 51
This week, the internet is going crazy with talk of a mass People’s Invasion of Area 51. More than one million people have signed up on Facebook to breach the gates of the most famous top secret government facility in the world. The event, which sprang to life as a joke started by social media shitposters, has now…Read more...
Tupac-Obsessed Iowa Public Servant Resigns In Mystery
The Iowa Department for Human Services provides services to the poor, children, senior citizens, and people with mental illness, addictions, or disabilities. Jerry Foxhoven, a retired law professor, was appointed to head up the agency in 2017, and until he was ousted last month, he added another directive to that…Read more...
Coach Who Once Ditched Job During Season Frets About College Football Player Transfers
Alabama football coach Nick Saban thinks “the spirit” of college football’s transfer portal “in and of itself is a positive thing for players.” But let’s not get carried away: Lest anyone think he’s completely on board with the idea of players having the sort of agency that, say, coaches do, Saban thinks there has to…Read more...
Most Exciting Incidental Things To Happen At A Sporting Event, Ranked
I went with my family to a collegiate summer league baseball game last week, because tickets were cheap and because we needed a decent excuse to leave the house. If you’ve ever been to a summer league game—or to a much bigger professional sporting event—you know that there are things that occur within the stadium that…Read more...
Manny Machado Calls Eric Byrnes And Dan Plesac The "Biggest Tools Out There"
Manny Machado, while lounging at home and watching MLB Network last night, decided to pop off his shirt, log into Instagram, and get some things off his chest. What followed was a solid three minutes of Machado shitting on MLB Network commentators Dan Plesac and Eric Byrnes while pointing out the league’s double…Read more...
The WNBA Players Association Is Contesting Riquna Williams's Domestic-Violence Suspension
On Tuesday, the WNBA issued a statement announcing that Los Angeles Sparks guard Riquna Williams would be suspended for 10 games as a result of an incident of suspected domestic violence in December, which led to Williams’s arrest on April 29 of this year. Williams allegedly broke into a home in Palm Beach County,…Read more...
The New York Knicks Continue To Fill Their Big Baby Diapers With Poo Over NY Daily News Reports
After the New York Daily News published an astonishing but routinely reported story on New York Knicks owner James Dolan’s ongoing and legally protracted feud with Clippers owner Steve Ballmer and the city of Inglewood—which concerns Ballmer’s proposed new arena and how it would compete with an existing arena in the…Read more...
Wednesday's Best Deals: Prime Day Leftovers, Instant Pot, Samsung Monitors, and More
A bunch of board games, Old Spice deodorant, an OXO cold brew maker and Edifier speakers lead off the best, post-Prime Day deals from around the web.Read more...
Jake Marisnick Is Ready For This To Be Over
The Astros played the Angels in Los Angeles last night, marking the first time Houston outfielder Jake Marisnick had to face Angels fans since knocking out Jonathan Lucroy with a brutal home-plate collision. He did not receive a warm reception.
Prime Day Is Over, But You Can Still Get An Instant Pot For $50
Instant Pot IP-DUO60 | $50 | AmazonRead more...
Ned Yost Can Teach You Whippersnappers A Thing Or Two About The Moon Landing, So Listen Up!
The Royals beat the White Sox 11-0 last night, and got a complete game shutout from starting pitcher Glenn Sparkman. But who gives a shit about any of that? We’re here to learn about space from Royals manager Ned Yost.
Benches Clear In Rays-Yankees Over Grown Men Arguing About Not Talking To Each Other
The benches cleared briefly in the middle of the sixth inning of Tuesday night’s Rays-Yankees tilt in New York. No one was plunked or brushed back; there were no dirty slides; no catchers were trucked at the plate. Yankees pitcher C.C. Sabathia struck out Rays outfielder Avisail Garcia on a, hmm, creatively framed…Read more...
The Best Prime Day Deals You Can Still Buy [Updating]
Amazon Prime Day is officially here! We’re updating this page to help navigate you through the avalanche of deals throughout the next day and a half, so check back often for all the best Prime Day deals. Or, for a quicker deals fix, check out our deal rankings, or follow along with all the best Lightning Deals on our…Read more...
Hustle Over to Amazon's Nike Sale Before Prime Day Ends
Day 1 of Prime Day featured a big sale on Adidas gear (and there’s still one running on Adidas’ site), so it’s only fitting that Day 2 closes with a big sale on Nike products.
Steve Kerr Tentatively Reminds Shaq Of Obligation To Kiss Kerr's Cheese-Covered Feet
Back in 2005, Shaquille O’Neal thought no coach would ever match what Phil Jackson did with the Lakers between 2000 to 2004: guide a team to the Finals four out of five years. “It will never be done again,” Shaq said, promising to kiss the cheese-covered feet of any person that did it, on a TV show that was very of…Read more...
Let The Alligator Throw The First Pitch
Chance the Snapper—a Chicago alligator who gained fame last week when he was first noticed living in the Humboldt Park lagoon—was taken into custody Tuesday morning by reptile expert Frank Robb, who was hired specifically to grab the creature. Before he was apprehended, the 5-foot-3 Chance captured the attention of …Read more...
Sports Illustrated Washes Manny Pacquiao's Balls; Manny Pacquiao Says, "Thank You"
Today Sports Illustrated published a story about how Manny Pacquiao, boxer and sitting Phillippine senator who said gay people are worse than animals and that drug dealers should be killed, is a wise man who just loves boxing. It was very well received by Manny Pacquiao.Read more...
Pete Alonso's Charming "English Muffin" Quote, Like Most Precious Things In Life, Was A Sham
Before Mets slugger Pete Alonso participated in the Home Run Derby during the all-star break, he earned a little moment with this seemingly off-the-cuff quip: “It doesn’t matter how much jelly you have in the jar, it’s about how you spread it on your English muffin.” That’s funny. Well, guess what? That shit came from…Read more...
The America Ilhan Omar Knows
Last week, Fox News host Tucker Carlson, perhaps in a telling of things to come, said on his show that Omar “has an awful lot to be grateful for” but “hates this country more than ever.” He doubled down on his comments the following night, arguing that arriving in this country as a refugee should prevent her from…Read more...
USWNT's Ashlyn Harris Says Former Teammate Was Excluded For Homophobia, Not Christianity
In the never-ending search for fuel to feed the conservative backlash against the world champion USWNT, some media outlets—mostly of the conservative Christian variety—dredged up a year-old interview with former USWNT defender Jaelene Hinkle. Talking to The 700 Club last May, Hinkle said that she turned down an…Read more...
I Cannot Play On The Fucking Floor With These Kids One More Second
Today, we’re talking about moats, supercross, onions, Texas, and more.
For $95, You Can Wreck Newbs Comfortably with This Discounted Racing-Style Gaming Chair
RESPAWN-110 Racing Style Gaming Chair (Green) | $95 | AmazonRead more...
You’re Not Sticking To Sports When You Stick To Sports
We live in an age of mass cowardice, and so it’s unsurprising that the PGA—that famed bastion of sporting tolerance—would not only charge ahead with staging a major tournament at a Trump-owned golf course, but also that they would limply try to have it both ways by consigning the President’s flagrant, deadly racism to…Read more...
Embattled F1 Sponsor Rich Energy Is Now 'Lightning Volt Limited,' CEO William Storey Is Out
On my best day, I don’t think I could’ve concocted the bizarre story about Haas Formula One sponsor Rich Energy: a supposed energy drink empire out of Great Britain, aimed directly at Red Bull, with a shady past and a bombastic CEO who comes off on Twitter like racing’s bargain-basement Donald Trump. Evidently, some…Read more...
Barry Sanders Was The Coolest Football Player Who Ever Lived
What would it take for a present-day football player to equal or surpass the sheer coolness of Barry Sanders, who turns 51 years old today? I’m not sure it’s even possible. Individual humans simply are not permitted to impose themselves on the sport’s structure in 2019 the way they were in 1992. And anyway, I’m pretty…Read more...
Hair-Pulling Considered Rude In Every Sport But Football
In the midst of play a few weeks ago, WNBA player Liz Cambage’s arm got all wrapped up in her opponent Kalani Brown’s hair. At first the tangle seemed to be an accident, but soon there was pushing and shoving and intentional hair-pulling, and Cambage walked away from the encounter with a flagrant foul.Read more...
The 15 Most Popular Deals From the First 24 Hours of Prime Day That You Can Still Buy
For the first time ever, Amazon has stretched out Prime Day over a full 48 hours, and while a lot of the best bargains from Day 1 are already sold out, we rounded up the 15 most popular deals (as bought by our readers) from Day 1 that you can still grab on Day 2.
Report: MLB Considering Adding Dopey Advertising Patches To Uniforms
According to the Sports Business Journal, we are one step closer to living in a world in which every possible moment spent watching a sporting event will also be a moment spent absorbing corporate advertising. That’s because MLB is reportedly considering following the NBA’s lead and adding advertising patches to…Read more...
Have Some Respect For Yourself, Man
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Three Sizes of Instant Pot. Three All-Time Low Prices For Day 2 of Prime Day.
Instant Pot DUO | $40-$70 | AmazonRead more...
The Lakers Really Want You To Know They Don't Want J.R. Smith
You would have been forgiven for wondering, even assuming. LeBron likes his guys, those role players he has repeatedly gathered around him at every stop in his role as shadow GM. J.R. Smith is one of his guys. Yes, even after that.
CBS News is Livestreaming the Original Apollo 11 Launch Broadcast in Real Time Right Now
CBS News is currently livestreaming its original broadcast from fifty years ago, when the original Apollo 11 crew launched from Kennedy Space Center in Florida to put the first humans on the Moon.
Run and Grab a Garmin Forerunner 235 For $228
Garmin Forerunner 235, Marsala | $228 | AmazonRead more...
Justin Turner Defends Pitcher Who Just Plunked Him From Overreacting Umpire
The Dodgers beat the hell out of the Phillies Monday night, ripping off a six-run fourth inning and cruising to a 16–2 victory. But that doesn’t mean the late innings were entirely without drama: for one thing, the Phillies used a position player as a pitcher; for another, in the top of the eighth inning, Justin…Read more...
Tigers Bring Trevor Rosenthal Back To The Majors For Some Reason
Here’s an alarming bit of news for MLB batters who value their personal safety: Trevor Rosenthal, who bombed out of the Nationals bullpen due to a persistent inability to throw strikes and get outs, is back in the majors, this time with the Detroit Tigers.Read more...
Giannis Antetokounmpo Sucks Real Bad At Baseball
Giannis Antetokounmpo is the reigning NBA Most Valuable Player. He’s 24 years old, his Bucks won 60 games last season, and Kawhi Leonard just left the Eastern Conference to play for the Clippers. Things are going pretty great for Giannis and his basketball career, so I don’t think he will mind too much if I point out…Read more...
Wout van Aert Has Conquered The World And Now He's Conquering The Tour de France
There’s no other rider at the Tour de France like Wout van Aert. Jumbo-Visma’s 24-year-old Tour debutante has built a multi-discipline resumé that would make anyone in the peloton blush, and this morning, he confirmed his potential as an all-around road destroyer by taking on an entire class of specialists and beating…Read more...
Aspen Ladd Follows Nightmare Weigh-In With Nightmare 16-Second Knockout Loss
UFC fighter Aspen Ladd appeared weak and disoriented and in a fair amount of pain during her Friday weigh-in ahead of UFC Fight Night 155 in Sacramento. Her weekend didn’t improve much from there: Ladd was knocked out just 16 seconds into her bantamweight fight against Germaine de Randamie Saturday night.Read more...
The Prime Day Deals That Will Make Your Home Look Better
Prime Day is perhaps best for no-frills purchases that are nevertheless expensive, like Instant Pots and vacuums. But if you can do a little digging, there are more decor-forward options on sale, too. This year, the best-looking stuff is from Amazon’s family of brands like Rivet, Stone & Beam, and more. These private…Read more...
Devin Hester's Son Is Just As Hard To Tackle
There was a time when Devin Hester fielding a punt or kick with space to run into was the most thrilling sight in football. If you disagree with that statement not only are you an enemy of mine, you also do not have my permission to enjoy these clips of Hester’s son, Dray, snapping ankles at a football camp:
Report: Giants Safety Kamrin Moore Arrested For Stepping On Woman's Neck, Punching Her Unconscious
This morning, the New York Giants announced that second-year safety Kamrin Moore had been suspended from the team shortly after he was arrested in New Jersey for an alleged domestic violence incident. NJ.com reported today that Moore was arrested in Linden, N.J. over the weekend after a woman told police she had been…Read more...
Hall-Of-Fame Boxer Pernell "Sweet Pea" Whitaker Dead At 55 After Being Hit By A Car
Former professional boxing champion Pernell “Sweet Pea” Whitaker was killed last night in Virginia Beach. According to police, Whitaker was crossing a busy intersection around 10 p.m. when a car hit him. He died from his injuries at the scene. He was 55.Read more...
Novak Djokovic Is A Fortress
Roger Federer said he did not want to be “depressed about actually an amazing tennis match,” which is easy for Roger Federer to say. Harder words to live by.Read more...
Children's Birthday Party Gets Much Cooler After New Jersey Devils' Mascot Runs Through Glass Window
When you’re a child, it’s surely cool to have the New Jersey Devils’ mascot show up to your birthday shindig, but what’s much more impressive is when NJ Devil gets overwhelmed by the play parachute, starts running around, and shatters a glass window. How many kids get to say that happened at their party?Read more...
Define 'Homophobic'
Imagine my surprise when late last week, I, an out gay man, found myself enrolled in an online course on homophobia that was attempting to teach me something I didn’t know. I thought I’d seen it all: the withering glances, the systemic discrimination, the suffering in places that were worse off than us even at our…Read more...
WWE's Intergender Experiment Is Still A Work In Progress
When Paul Heyman took over Monday Night Raw last month, one of his reported goals was to make the show edgier. “Edgier” is a catch-all for many different storylines and actions, including intergender matches. Heyman is a veteran of the Attitude Era, where men hitting women was commonplace, often to the detrimental…Read more...
Who Says Zion Needs To Move To Be Great?
“Is Zion Williamson too fat?” has been the controversy of NBA Summer League 2019 as the No. 1 overall pick is sitting out rest of the Vegas games due to a bruised left knee, depriving fans of mid-July slams and prompting them to wonder if the former Duke superstar is actually in shape. On ESPN last week, Seth…Read more...
Miscounted Chips Lead To World Series Of Poker Drama
The World Series of Poker, the favorite sporting event of kids who are home all day for summer break and can’t find anything good to watch, is currently underway, and folks, we got some drama.
The Texans Are Stiffing Jadeveon Clowney
It has been a relatively quiet offseason for the NFL, which comes as a real pleasure for everyone, but that’s just about ended. For folks thirsty for football-adjacent events, we’re less than a week out from the start of training camps, and just hours away from the deadline for players slapped with the franchise tag…Read more...
Amazon's Own Devices Are (Unsurprisingly) Some of the Best Deals of Prime Day [Updating]
We know you’ve been patiently waiting for Prime Day, and so have we. As you might expect, the first deals out of the gate are the deals on Amazon’s own products, which tend to be some of the steepest discounts of the entire made up holiday. Several of the discounts are already live, and we’ll be adding more as they…Read more...
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