Here is the most disgusting video I’ve watched on the internet in a long time:

If the above image fills you with confusion, fear, repulsion, and curiosity: Congratulations, you’re human, and you understand how physics work. If you already know exactly what you’re looking at: Welcome back to Action Park, motherfuckers.Read more...

College football coaches, as a general rule, are a weird group of people. The job seems built to attract a specific type of deeply strange person—take the most obsessive and ambitious and aggressive gym teacher possible, then pay him millions of dollars and make him one of the most recognizable and relentlessly public…Read more...

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The Swiss Army said it could reprimand world champion mountain biker Nino Schurter for posting a picture of his ass, along with the asses of three others, in front of the White House and tagging Donald Trump.Read more...

Case Keenum declared that Washington’s dead-on-arrival loss to the Bears Monday night was “all on me.” That is absolutely false. Any truly great or truly awful team is just that, a team effort— it requires 53 men, plus coaches and front office and even ownership. And the Skins are a unicorn turd of a football team: a…Read more...

In what is absolutely not a metaphor for Jay Gruden’s coaching and [gestures vaguely at Washington’s routine ascendance to new frontiers of dysfunction], the Monday Night Football broadcast caught a team employee on Washington’s sideline stirring a cooler full of Gatorade with what appears to be a plastic bag of…Read more...

Dan Snyder’s football clown show spent halftime of their Monday night meltdown loss inducting retired linebacker London Fletcher into the Ring of Honor of their miserable, far-flung hell-hole of a stadium. Fletcher spent less than half of his career in Washington and won zero playoff games, but whatever, this…Read more...

If you, like me, find yourself yearning for a throw that did not result in an interception tonight, I give you this Mookie Betts outfield assist from Boston’s game against Tampa Bay, which is so cool it should be illegal.Read more...

The Cubs were all but eliminated from playoff contention over the weekend, thanks to a four-game home series sweep at the hands of the dreaded Cardinals. To add, uhh, injury to injury, third baseman Kris Bryant nuked his ankle Sunday and stands a good chance of missing all of Chicago’s remaining six regular season…Read more...

I do not advise tuning in for the Monday night matchup between Washington and the Bears for any reason. Those deranged enough to watch this horror show have seen the Bears pound the bejeezus out of the home team in every phase, starting with a first-quarter pick-six to open the scoring. The especially diseased among…Read more...

The situation seemed like it was getting contentious, but Andre Iguodala and the Memphis Grizzlies have arrived at a resolution of sorts. Per the Daily Memphian, Iguodala will remain on the Grizzlies’ roster when the 2019-20 NBA season begins, but he won’t report to training camp or Media Day. Instead, he’ll be…Read more...

The return of fall also means the return of MASTERCUP, an annual team-based Tekken competition that often provides some of the scene’s greatest moments of the year. As a prelude, the organizers held a special event called MASTERCUP Try that allowed players to compete for the chance to get a professional esports…Read more...

Late last week, LSU offensive lineman Ed Ingram was reinstated to the program following a lengthy suspension that began in August of 2018, when Ingram was charged with two felony counts of aggravated sexual assault of a minor. The charges against Ingram were dropped last Friday, which preceded his reinstatement.

It’s more than a little ironic that the definitive proof that the Premier League truly is as comprehensively and inarguably supreme as its fanboys have long contended it to be has come in the exact form many of those same fanboys shitted on Spain for back when La Liga was top dog.Read more...

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Down 2-0 to the Connecticut Sun in the WNBA Semifinals, the Los Angeles Sparks played out the last quarter and a half of their season Sunday night without Candace Parker, to the surprise of everyone involved, including Candace Parker.

Man, this is a fantastic comedy of errors for anyone not involved, and it all kicked off because of a poorly written piece of satire about T. Boone Pickens.Read more...

Russia has three weeks to explain how positive drug test results were deleted from data sent to the World Anti-Doping Agency, which is still investigating Russia’s intricate years-long doping scheme that involving passing urine samples through a secret hole in a laboratory wall and got the country …Read more...

The Laver Cup, which took place this past weekend in Geneva, is the most entertaining exhibition format tennis has devised to date. The semi-scripted feel hits the spot, and by recasting the tour’s most famous rivals as allies, there’s an element of fan service. You get to watch 39 majors’ worth of talent shoot the…Read more...

UCF’s 27-game unbeaten run in regular-season play ended this weekend, as the Knights lost on the road to Pitt in a dramatic 35-34 stunner. The Panthers marched down the field on a 12-play game-winning drive late in the fourth quarter, and capped it off with a trick-play touchdown catch by QB Kenny Pickett on fourth…Read more...

This is why the Chicago Cubs should not have been permitted to win the 2016 World Series: Their fans can no longer appreciate the Cubs of the last week.Read more...

Here’s Dennis Smith Jr. taking some free throws which bear the troubling artistic influence of Markelle Fultz. The clip comes from a Redditor who claimed to spot the Knicks point guard at school—judging by the banners, it’s the Manhattan private school Avenues—and some credibility is gained from the fact that three…Read more...

If any Democratic presidential candidates are looking for the next big proposal to get one over on their rivals, the UK Labour Party just handed out a great idea: a 32-hour workweek, or the equivalent of four days a week for people who currently work eight hours a day.Read more...

In a garden-variety suburb outside Albany—a recent July morning, but it could have been any morning—Patrick Battuello woke up at five, brewed a cup of coffee, and then sat at his computer to review the previous day’s horse races. He’s done this every day for the last six years. This was a Monday, and so there were a…Read more...

An Anker USB-C battery pack, ANC headphones, Philips OneBlade, and a Lucky Brand sale lead off Monday’s best deals from around the web.Read more...

Own goals usually leave defenders red-faced, but the cheeks of Sparta Prague defender Michal Sáček’s ass were most likely the redder after his butt scored an own goal in Sunday’s match against Slavia Prague:Read more...

Shorts-wearing season is coming to an end, but that just means that shorts-discount season is getting into high gear.Read more...

The New England Patriots cut wide receiver Antonio Brown on Friday, but nobody on the team will say why. When Brown signed with the Pats barely a week earlier, it was already known that he was a rebellious guy with a weird thing about helmets. But in the short time he was on New England, he was sued for sexual assault…Read more...

Three people were hospitalized and 10 people were displaced by an overnight fire at an apartment building in West Philadelphia. But the reason you’re reading about this particular local news report on this here sports website is because a man who came upon the scene and literally began catching children being thrown…Read more...

We’re three games into Freddie Kitchens’s first full season as head coach in Cleveland, and so far things have been rather chaotic. The Browns are 1-2 and one of the more heavily penalized teams in the league, and Kitchens often looks and coaches like a guy who was handed the headset after winning a contest.

Giants at Bucs was a coming-out party for one Mr. Daniel Dimes, but it wouldn’t have been a win for New York if not for Buccaneers rookie kicker Matt Gay missing a 34-yard field goal attempt just barely to the right as time expired. And it wouldn’t have been 34 yards if the Bucs hadn’t intentionally taken a…Read more...

In any other week for non-Jets teams, giving up five turnovers to an opponent tends to be a pretty solid blow towards that side’s chances of winning. But the 49ers became an exception to that trend against the Steelers on Sunday with a 24-20 win at home. Just like how that scoreline doesn’t tell the whole story of the…Read more...

The Giants were not only losing 28-10 to the Buccaneers at the half on Sunday afternoon, but they were also missing their best offensive player in Saquon Barkley. No one would have blamed them if they spent the rest of the day just focusing on escaping Tampa without any further damage to their psyche, but apparently,…Read more...

Broncos receiver Emmanuel Sanders was understandably not pleased after Sunday’s 27-16 loss against the Packers. In his postgame conversation with reporters he gave quite an honest assessment of just how he feels being on a team that’s started the season going 0-3.

The Giants didn’t have a hot start against the Bucs in Daniel Jones’s debut, going down 28-10 at halftime thanks in part to three touchdown catches from Tampa Bay wideout Mike Evans. But even worse than an early deficit is the potential long-term consequences of this low hit on standout young running back Saquon…Read more...

A preface to this highlight: Jameis Winston’s fumble here was ruled an incompletion on replay, so it didn’t matter that Jabrill Peppers pushed down Alec Ogletree when he was running down the field with only green grass in front of him? But why did Jabrill Peppers tackle Alec Ogletree??Read more...

For better and for worse, Lamar Jackson did not look like a regular NFL quarterback against the Chiefs on Sunday. First, the worse: Kansas City was able to regularly get pressure on the second-year player, forcing shaky throws on a consistent basis and often leading to overthrown deep balls, even when those passes…Read more...

Despite an encouraging second-half comeback on Sunday afternoon against the undefeated Bills, the Bengals couldn’t pull out their first win of the 2019 season, losing on the road 21-17 after Andy Dalton threw an interception with 12 seconds to go.Read more...

It’s generally a lot more fun to humiliate coaches for clock mistakes than praise them for managing it well, but Baltimore Ravens coach John Harbaugh went deep into his bag of tricks on a kickoff late in the game against the Chiefs so he could save a timeout, and it was pretty dang nifty!

Falcons safety Keanu Neal suffered a pretty bad injury to his leg just before halftime against the Colts on Saturday. That much became clear when he threw his helmet in frustration and was crying by the time the training staff got to him. While the pain certainly played a part in his emotional state, what likely added…Read more...

None of us can ever know the true identities of those who play in the NFL. Shrouded in armor—with helmets covering most of their faces, and jerseys that reveal merely half of their true names—American football players work in the shadows, anonymous to all but their closest friends and family members.

Early in the first quarter of Cowboys-Dolphins, Miami quarterback Josh Rosen tried to find receiver Allen Hurns and threw a pass towards the middle of the field. Also tracking the ball was Dallas safety Jeff Heath, who collided hard with Hurns as he was going for the interception. Since neither player seemed to notice…Read more...

Cubs closer Craig Kimbrel has had a rough go of it lately. Heading into his Saturday appearance against the NL East-leading Cardinals, he had already tied his career-high for home runs given up in a season with seven. While that might not sound too bad, it’s important to keep in mind that he accomplished this feat in…Read more...

The main event of UFC Fight Night: Yair Rodríguez vs. Jeremy Stephens on Saturday night ended in a no contest after just 15 seconds when an accidental eye poke by Rodríguez on Stephens meant that the American couldn’t continue, even after the allotted five minutes of recovery time. The Mexico City crowd, who were…Read more...

On Saturday night, Antonio Brown’s agent, Drew Rosenhaus, told ESPN’s Adam Schefter that a few teams had shown interest in signing the wide receiver—provided that Rosenhaus gave those teams updates “regarding [Brown’s] legal situation and the NFL investigation” following the player’s messy breakup with the Patriots…Read more...

Only the true East Coast degenerates—not even myself, if we’re coming clean—would have had the guts and belief to stick with UCLA’s game at Washington State after 1 a.m. Sunday morning, when the No. 19 ranked Cougars went up 49-17 on the winless Bruins midway through the third quarter. But those who toughed it out…Read more...

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Jim Harbaugh and the Wolverines had their asses handed to them in a 35-14 loss to Wisconsin on Saturday afternoon. Michigan was fresh off a bye, mercifully given two weeks to prepare for the Badgers and their scary-good running back Jonathan Taylor, and it went about as poorly as it could go. Michigan was…Read more...

In his first time seeing playing action, Ole Miss backup quarterback John Rhys Plumlee led a pretty fabulous-looking comeback down the stretch against Cal Saturday afternoon. Alas, it wasn’t enough.