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Evgeniy Evnevich, a correspondent for Russia’s Match TV, had just begun his dispatch on the status of CSKA Moscow midfielder Kristijan Bistrović when a devilish sprinkler began to pursue him.

Nothing was especially exciting about Team USA’s win over Canada in Sydney Sunday night, but the exhibition game did offer one revelation: Milwaukee Bucks center Brook Lopez is deeply, inexplicably beloved in Australia.

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Even relative to the brutal baseline of physical punishment that applies to big league catchers, Francisco Cervelli has been through a lot. When the Pittsburgh Pirates put him on release waivers last week, Cervelli was rehabilitating from what was at least the sixth concussion he’s suffered since 2011, which had kept…Read more...

The start of a new season offers all the promise of a blank slate. Onto this yet untouched slab, our imaginations can run wild carving any conceivable array of results and events, thrillingly unconstrained by anything other than our own whims and predictions. However, though we are just three matches into a new,…Read more...

In a lawsuit filed last week, the former orthopedic physician for Penn State’s football team said Nittany Lions coach James Franklin pressured him to clear players to return to game action before they were ready. The civil lawsuit was filed Friday in Dauphin County, Pennsylvania. In the complaint, Dr. Scott Lynch said…Read more...

I imagine Andrew Luck is thinking about a Senate run today. Nothing, after all, inspires dreams of grandeur quite as quickly as doing something personal and painful that makes America pick a side, twitch like a worker in a meth lab, and then scream at each other for a few days.Read more...

During a press conference this morning, Patriots head coach Bill Belichick was asked to respond to Indianapolis Colts quarterback Andrew Luck’s shocking retirement, which occurred over the weekend. Belichick’s typically grumbly response at first made it seem as though he had been unaware of the news:

While FIFA’s recent disciplinary code changes meant to address racist abuse from supporters in the stands, the updated rules have already been called to action this month to combat homophobia, first in France and now in Brazil.

Some people are fans of the Indianapolis Colts. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Indianapolis Colts. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.Read more...

Four goals in the first 16 minutes. A Zlatan brace. Carlos Vela yelling at his manager. The fifth edition of El Tráfico, the Los Angeles Derby between LAFC and the Galaxy that capped off MLS’s Rivalry Week on Sunday night, wasn’t just the best game of the season—it was an example of what MLS can be at its best.Read more...

Ron Fellows played cornerback for the Dallas Cowboys and Los Angeles Raiders from 1981–1988. He intercepted 19 passes and scored three touchdowns, including two on interception returns. Now 61 years old and living in Sacramento, Calif., Fellows suffers from Alzheimer’s, and his cognition is gradually declining. What…Read more...

Like thirsty desert travelers converging on a shimmering oasis, Democratic presidential candidates flocked to the Iowa Federation of Labor convention last week. An endless parade of hopefuls, comedic in length and wearying in content, came before the union delegates in a hotel ballroom, each with a promise in one hand…Read more...

I know what you’re thinking: Barfing is bad! All foods are bad to vomit! This is true, but some foods are way worse to puke up than, say, saltine crackers. These are those foods, plus a few liquids that are also bad to throw up.Read more...

It seems we finally have an explanation for why Astros pitcher Justin Verlander insisted on having Detroit Free Press reporter Anthony Fenech blocked from entering the Astros’ club house after a game last week. You probably won’t be able to guess where this is going.

An August Smart Lock sale, the first discount on the ModMic Wireless, an Outward Hound Gold Box, and refurbished iPad Pros lead off Sunday’s best deals from around the web.Read more...

Which franchise is the NFL’s poop standard (obviously, the inverse of the gold standard)? Part of what’s fascinating about football’s ongoing analytics revolution is the unknown—that there are possibilities we haven’t even considered for what we may someday be able to do with the application of higher statistics. That…Read more...

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A coroner in Greenville, S.C. confirmed on Friday that the ground beef patties from a local Dairy Queen were not, in fact, made out of human flesh. The confirmation comes in the wake of rumors swirling about the fast-food joint after it was hit with a federal raid on Wednesday, according to the Index-Journal.

Kenyan middle-distance runner, Olympic champion, and 800m world record holder David Rudisha is reportedly okay after sustaining minor injuries from a car crash in his home country, according to K24TV.Read more...

Oakland A’s left fielder Stephen Piscotty was briefly in a bad situation on Saturday. While trying to track a Buster Posey liner that was hit in his direction, Piscotty ended up looking directly at the sun, which caused him to lose track of the rapidly descending ball. In a futile attempt to prevent his vision from…Read more...

For as many questions as Andrew Luck leaves behind with his sudden retirement, there is a fair amount that people actually understand about the implications of his retirement from a financial sense. Part of the sacrifice that historically comes with calling it a career earlier than expected—in addition to giving up…Read more...

Late in the fourth quarter during Saturday’s game between the Seahawks and Chargers, Chris Peace, an undrafted free agent from Virginia, got Los Angeles’ lone sack of the game against Seattle. It was a clutch defensive play, given that it forced a fourth down, and put the Chargers in a position to potentially tie the…Read more...

Saturday’s game between Arizona and Hawaii featured eight turnovers, over 1100 yards of offense and 83 points, yet the most exciting moment of the game began with only 10 seconds remaining in regulation.

Six people were injured at East Lake Golf Club on Saturday when lightning struck a tree near the south end of the course. The incident occurred less than 30 minutes after the third round of the PGA Tour Championship had been halted due to weather concerns.

News of Andrew Luck’s impending retirement must have surely been an absolute gut punch to learn about for any Colts fan, but, for some watching Bears-Colts in Indianapolis on Sunday, it also elicited serious feelings of anger. These emotions manifested themselves into the form of a shower of boos towards the…Read more...

Given the circumstances, it’s remarkable Andrew Luck wasn’t playing for the Detroit Lions. The Colts franchise QB is retiring less than two weeks before the NFL season is slated to begin. There’s already a host of people, namely idiot Colts fans, ready to castigate Luck for his timing, but Luck is hardly the first NFL…Read more...

ESPN is reporting that Andrew Luck just up and retired tonight. The season is just two weeks away! The Colts were playing a preseason game when the news broke!

Former Michigan State men’s basketball player Mateen Cleaves was acquitted on Tuesday of four sexual assault charges stemming from an incident with a 24-year-old woman in September of 2015. Video of the incident that was shown in the courtroom has since been released because of a public records request from WXYZ…Read more...

In an attempt at adding a “fun” new twist to Players’ Weekend, MLB revealed earlier this year that every team playing in a game over these couple days would wear a nearly monochromatic uniform, with options of white and black. Beyond the simple problem that the color scheme makes it difficult to see the nicknames on…Read more...

Minnesota authorities filed a warrant on Friday for the arrest of 22-year-old Dylan Bennett on charges of second-degree murder, according to police documents, just two days after his parents—former NFL defensive lineman Barry Bennett and his wife, Carol—were found fatally shot in their home earlier this week.

It appears that no matter how hard they try, Manchester United are unable to shake the fact that mediocrity is now a staple characteristic of the once-dominant (if that even means anything anymore) club. Case in point is the fact that the focus of this summer’s transfer window was to bolster the defense, and yet they…Read more...

The Orioles brought the inevitable to reality on Friday, officially getting eliminated from playoff contention with a 7-1 loss to the Rays. All things considered, the news probably isn’t hitting the clubhouse too hard. For one thing, the players will get a much-needed break away from this hellish season once September…Read more...

This is clearly a Wayne Brady reference, but someone should still try to get Rece Davis to safety just in case.

Today is apparently the official start of the college football season. As someone who doesn’t have a vested interest in a team with any sort of non-lethal relevance, it’s very easy for this day to come and go without much fanfare. However, if you’re a fan of the University of Miami, there was almost no chance that you…Read more...

Prior to Team USA’s game against Australia on Friday, Kemba Walker told an Australian reporter that there was a lot of room for growth within the team, and that their previous performance was perhaps not as great as some players thought it was. The quote was the kind of thing a veteran player says to maintain a team’s…Read more...

Because it has been true for longer than I have been alive that the NBA is more fun when the Lakers are interesting, the news that Dwight Howard will be joining LeBron James and Anthony Davis on a Lakers team that is very serious about contending for championships is extremely welcome. This is not likely to make the…Read more...

It’s Friday afternoon, that time when every American sports league dumps the news it would rather you not see. Today, that meant the NBA announced the results of the league’s investigation into sexual assault allegations against Sacramento Kings coach Luke Walton.Read more...

There is a version of the story of this company in which idealistic journalists, unconcerned with profit, are posed against ruthless business-doers, concerned about profit above all else. That would be a convenient story, pitching me and my colleagues and friends as people who just care too much about The Truth to…Read more...

The week’s all but blogged out. We’re down below in the comments, hanging out and waiting for your questions. Ask us stuff, and we will answer it! Update: We’re done!Read more...

The Marriott Bonvoy Boundless Credit Card earned Co-Op Diamond Elite Lifetime Status by winning this week’s hotel-branded credit card reader poll.

If I had the choice, which in fact at some time in the past I might have, I don’t know that I would choose to remember the things that I remember. There are moments from my life, real nights and days I lived in a younger version of my body, that I can feel fading into something more indistinct. Great and challenging…Read more...

Yesterday, Philadelphia’s Morris Animal Refuge posted photos of a big cat. A really big cat. It went viral.Read more...

Abject failure of an NFL head coach Hue Jackson got the Greg Bishop treatment over at Sports Illustrated this week. Bishop has made a lane for himself working up sappy redemption narratives for sad-sacks who don’t really deserve it. Jackson, a grating figure who got shit-canned by the Browns after going 3–36–1 in…Read more...

Some people are fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

It has been a while since Fernando Torres was something other than a melancholic presence on the soccer field. The man nicknamed El Niño—who played for Atlético Madrid, Liverpool, Chelsea, AC Milan, and Atlético again before retiring on Thursday at Japanese club Sagan Tosu—saw the arc of his career bend away from The…Read more...

So it turns out that professional football teams can do all the things they need to do on any given day with 20 percent less field. All they have to do is not give much of a damn about it.

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It is happening again.

REI’s Labor Day Sale, a refurb Ninja Coffee Bar, and Sunday Scaries CBD products lead off Friday’s best deals from around the web.Read more...