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Updated 2026-06-13 14:45
Czech president in hospital after shock election defeat for PM
Fears of a political crisis as Miloš Zeman, an ally of Andrej Babiš, is admitted to intensive care unitThe Czech Republic is facing political upheaval and a possible power vacuum after its billionaire prime minister, Andrej Babiš, suffered a surprise general election defeat and then saw his most powerful backer and sole potential saviour, the country’s president, Miloš Zeman, taken to hospital, apparently gravely ill.In a stunning upset that confounded pollsters’ forecasts, Babiš’ populist Action for Dissatisfied Citizens (ANO) 2011 party finished second in this weekend’s popular vote behind the centre-right Spolu (Together) alliance, which previously vowed not to form a government with him. Continue reading...
NHS staff face rising tide of abuse from patients provoked by long waits
Chronic underfunding, Covid and staff shortages blamed for increase in physical and verbal assaultsNHS staff across the UK are facing a “growing tide of abuse” including assaults from patients, which they say is being caused by frustration at long waits for care.In a strongly worded joint statement, which has been shared with the Guardian, six key medical bodies and staff groups blame patients’ increasingly long delays in receiving treatment on years of successive governments underinvesting in the NHS and not fixing severe workforce shortages. Continue reading...
The Guardian view on sexual abuse and the Catholic church: contrition is not enough | Editorial
An investigation into paedophile priests in France reveals an institution in desperate need of reformThe findings of an inquiry into sexual abuse and paedophilia in the French Catholic church, published last week, are difficult to read and painful to contemplate. Over the past 70 years, the Independent Commission on Sexual Abuse in the Church found that at least 216,000 children were subjected to abuse at the hands of Catholic priests and members of religious orders. Sexual exploitation within the church and associated institutions, the commission stated, had been a “massive phenomenon”. Beyond immediate family and friends, the prevalence of sexual violence in the church outstripped that in any other social environment.These conclusions represent, as Pope Francis rightly acknowledged, “a moment of shame” for the Catholic church. They should also be the catalyst for far-reaching reform of its practice and culture. The French report is only the latest in a dismal, heart-rending sequence. Last year, an investigation found that the Catholic church in England and Wales had failed to adequately deal with sexual abuse perpetrated over decades by clergy and others associated with the church. It had, the report’s authors stated, prioritised its own reputation over the welfare of abuse victims. Other investigations have reached similarly damning conclusions in the United States, Ireland, Germany, Chile, Australia and Poland. Continue reading...
Australian politicians trust scientists on Covid. Why don’t they listen to teachers on school reform? | Pasi Sahlberg
Education systems that treat teachers as trusted professionals adjusted better to pandemic disruption, research suggestsIf remote learning has shown parents anything, it is a renewed appreciation for the job that teachers do. Now as teachers return to school in the coming weeks, at least in New South Wales, it’s a chance to ask some consequential questions: Are the teacher policies what they should be to improve education in these uncertain times? Is teaching such an attractive career choice that there will be enough qualified teachers in all parts of this country? Can we promise that all children will have a teacher who is able to teach the complex skills and knowledge they will need in life?The short answer to all these questions is unfortunately “no”. Right now, Australia and many other countries are facing serious teacher shortages. Many teachers are leaving the profession before they reach their fifth year. At the same time the number of young people interested in becoming teachers has declined. Continue reading...
‘I broke down crying’: Queensland slashes mental health support in Covid hotel quarantine
Former occupants tell of not receiving adequate help under system that contrasts starkly with elsewhere in Australia
Under the table: Australia’s dazzlingly diverse home cooking underground
Social media and online marketplaces have facilitated a boom in Australian home cooking businesses – but many operate without regulationDuring the Sydney lockdown I ordered from a different home cook every Friday night, for me and my neighbours. I discovered each cook from community groups or social media pages for migrant communities in Sydney – east African, Thai, English.Sometimes the home cooks had a professional social media presence, a delivery prmovider, or even a website to order from; but often my lead was just a person’s name – I’d then have to find and befriend them on Facebook before asking about a food delivery for the following Friday. Some had menus, others just asked “what do you want?” and let me pick from the full range of their specialty cuisine. Continue reading...
Harvey Weinstein PA says abusers still have the legal power to silence victims
Outrage ensued when Zelda Perkins revealed her non-disclosure agreement in 2017 but the expected reforms never cameIn the weeks after she first broke her non-disclosure agreement, Zelda Perkins, Harvey Weinstein’s former personal assistant, felt dizzy with optimism.After an appearance on Newsnight in 2017, in which she spoke publicly about the oppressive non-disclosure agreement (NDA) she had been silenced by as a 24-year-old two decades earlier, Perkins found herself feted in parliament. The end of the use of NDAs as a means to cover up abuse was, she thought, in sight. Continue reading...
Sebastian Kurz departure is further blow to Europe’s centre-right
Resignation of Austrian chancellor follows Germany’s CDU crashing to its worst federal election resultEurope’s ailing centre-right is mourning the departure of a second high-profile conservative leader in the space of a month, as Austria’s chancellor, Sebastian Kurz, on Saturday evening announced he would resign over allegations he encouraged the use of public funds to buy himself positive media coverage.The fall from grace of the 35-year-old leader of the Austrian People’s party (ÖVP) comes just weeks after its German sister party failed to fill the space left by the outgoing chancellor, Angela Merkel, and crashed to the worst result in its history at federal elections. Continue reading...
Valtteri Bottas wins F1 Turkish GP as Verstappen takes championship lead
F1: Bottas wins Turkish GP as Verstappen leads Hamilton in title race – live!
At least 16 die as plane full of skydivers crashes in central Russia
Six people in ‘very serious condition’ after being rescued from wreckage of aircraft in Tatarstan
Trade war looms as UK set to spurn EU offer on Northern Ireland
EU leaders urged to push back against No 10’s brinkmanship over role of European court of justiceFears that the UK is heading for a trade war with the EU have been fuelled by strong indications from the government that it thinks proposals to be unveiled in Brussels on Wednesday over Brexit arrangements do not go far enough.The Brexit minister, David Frost, will use a speech in Portugal on Tuesday to say that the EU scrapping its prohibition on British sausages to resolve the dispute over the Northern Ireland protocol does not meet the UK and unionists’ demands. Continue reading...
A third of police forces referred sex assault claims to watchdog
Twenty-seven allegations about officers passed on in week Couzens sentencedAlmost a third of police forces in England and Wales referred allegations of sexual assault and harassment against their own officers to the police watchdog in the days following the sentencing of Wayne Couzens for the murder of Sarah Everard, the Observer can reveal.The Independent Office for Police Conduct (IOPC) received 27 detailed referrals involving officers and serious sexual offences in the week after Couzens was handed a whole-life term on 30 September for the kidnap, rape and murder of Everard while he was a serving officer. Continue reading...
Biden administration delivers brusque message to Pakistan
With relations frosty over Taliban victory and Pakistani repression, deputy secretary of state visits for ‘specific and narrow purpose’A senior US official visiting Islamabad has made clear to Pakistan that the Biden administration has downgraded the bilateral relationship.On the eve of her arrival, the deputy secretary of state, Wendy Sherman, used a public event in Mumbai to lay out in blunt terms the new parameters of US-Pakistan relations, stressing there would be no equivalence with Washington’s deepening ties to India. Continue reading...
‘A xenophobic autocrat’: Adam Schiff on Trump’s threat to democracy
The California Democrat’s new memoir, Midnight in Washington, examines his life before politics as well as his leading roles in impeachment and other dramas on Capitol HillGreat crises in American political life often produce a new hero, someone whose courage and charisma capture the imagination of the decent half of the country.In the 1950s, when Joe McCarthy terrorized America with wild claims of communists lurking in every army barracks and state department corridor, it was an attorney, Joseph Walsh, who demanded of the Wisconsin senator: “At long last, sir, have you no sense of decency?” Continue reading...
British diver relives gripping Thai cave rescue
One of the team who found the 12 young footballers tells of restaging the mission for a filmIn October 2020, Rick Stanton readied his wetsuit, dive harness, cylinders and regulators. He was preparing to plunge into the underwater filming stage at Pinewood Studios in Buckinghamshire: a six-metre deep tank, surrounded by dark walls prepared with an artificial cave passage.Stanton, along with six other British divers, was recreating the extraordinary Tham Luang cave rescue mission in which he took part, an operation that gripped the world’s attention in 2018, and which saved 12 teenage footballers and their assistant coach who had become trapped in the north Thailand cave. Continue reading...
I’m dying. Will it help my beloved husband to cope if I leave him notes?
Thank you for a really beautiful email, writes Philippa Perry. I will store your lesson away for myselfThe question I need your help. Specifically, a woman therapist’s help, in fact. Even though I’ve got a perfectly good and helpful therapist, who’s helped me a lot in the three years since I was diagnosed with stupid cancer aged 43, I’m finding that the thing I want to do is probably quite female and when I mentioned it to him, he said: “That’s what women do.”Long story short: happily married to a lovely man. No kids of my own, wicked stepmother to a 24-year-old. I was busy-busy-busy working when I got a terrible cancer diagnosis. Loads of chemo, loads of weeping. Grim prognosis. Still, I’m cracking on and writing this from a hotel on a jolly to London. Quite at peace with death, although obviously I’m sorry it’s coming so soon. It’s the living through to the end that’s killing me. Continue reading...
Iran says more than 120kg of uranium enriched to 20%
Announcement comes amid signs Tehran may be open to resuming stalled talks on 2015 nuclear dealIran has amassed more than 120kg of 20% enriched uranium, well above the level agreed to in the 2015 deal with world powers, the head of the country’s atomic energy agency has told state television.“We have passed 120 kilograms,” said Mohammad Eslami, head of Iran’s atomic energy organisation. “We have more than that figure. Our people know well that [western powers] were meant to give us the enriched fuel at 20% to use in the Tehran reactor, but they haven’t done so. Continue reading...
China lambasts Tony Abbott for ‘despicable and insane performance in Taiwan’
Embassy in Canberra describes former Australian PM as ‘a failed and pitiful politician’ after he raised concerns that Beijing ‘could lash out disastrously’
Missing apostrophe in Facebook post lands NSW real estate agent in legal hot water
Court declines to dismiss defamation case against Anthony Zadravic, who said failure to punctuate social media post was trivial
Coronavirus live news: US has given over 400m jabs; Protesters in Rome try to break into PM’s office
CDC says 187 million people in US are fully vaccinated; About 10,000 people join protest against mandatory Covid certificates
Czech PM’s party loses election to liberal-conservative coalition
Andrej Babiš’s populist ANO party narrowly behind Together three-party grouping in parliamentary pollPrime minister Andrej Babiš’s centrist party on Saturday narrowly lost the Czech Republic’s parliamentary election, a surprise development that could mean the end of the populist billionaire’s reign in power.The two-day election to fill 200 seats in the lower house of the parliament took place shortly after details emerged of Babiš’s overseas financial dealings in the Pandora Papers. Babiš, 67, has denied wrongdoing. Continue reading...
Nursing crisis sweeps wards as NHS battles to find recruits
Lack of EU staff adding to shortages: ‘There aren’t enough to deliver care we need’Ministers are being warned of a mounting workforce crisis in England’s hospitals as they struggle to recruit staff for tens of thousands of nursing vacancies, with one in five nursing posts on some wards now unfilled.Hospital leaders say the nursing shortfall has been worsened by a collapse in the numbers of recruits from Europe, including Spain and Italy. Continue reading...
Woman in hospital after being hit by car and stabbed in Cumbria
A crashed Kia Rio and a dead man found by police soon after incident in which a child was also injuredA woman has been taken to hospital after she was hit by a car and then stabbed while with a child in Cumbria.Police are investigating an incident that occurred at about 2.30pm on Saturday in the Woodend area in Egremont. Continue reading...
Colombian nun kidnapped by jihadists in Mali in 2017 is freed
Mali president’s office pays tribute to the courage of Gloria Cecilia Narváez as it confirms her releaseA Franciscan nun from Colombia kidnapped by jihadists in Mali in 2017 has been freed, Mali’s presidential office said.The statement on the presidential Twitter account paid tribute to the courage of Gloria Cecilia Narváez, who was held for four years and eight months. Continue reading...
Priti Patel’s fury as Johnson blocks public sexual harassment law
Home Office fears PM views aggressive targeting of women and girls as ‘mere wolf whistling’ amid moves to create specific offenceBoris Johnson has infuriated the home secretary by overruling attempts to make public sexual harassment a crime. This has prompted concern at the Home Office that the prime minister views the issue as mere “wolf whistling”, rather than the aggressive targeting of women and girls going about their daily lives.Sources say tensions have emerged between Johnson and Priti Patel, and other senior Home Office figures, after he blocked plans to make public sexual harassment a specific offence. Continue reading...
Bolshoi performer dies in accident on stage during opera
Man, 37, said to be killed by falling decor in set change during Rimsky-Korsakov operaA performer at Moscow’s renowned Bolshoi theatre was killed on Saturday in an accident on stage during an opera, the theatre said.The Bolshoi, one of Russia’s most prestigious theatres, said the incident occurred during a set change in Sadko, an opera by Russian composer Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov. Continue reading...
‘Is anyone coming?’: when one town faced its first fire thunderstorm
Firestorms used to be a rare phenomenon, but in December 2019 the tiny town of Nerriga faced one of what would be many of the Black Summer seasonJustin Parr has been working frantically all morning helping to build a defence for Nerriga. He’s managed only a handful of hours of decent sleep since his 22-hour overnight firefight on Thursday, but he’s not feeling fatigued. While the volunteer firefighter has known since he was a boy it was his duty to protect his community, this is the first time the threat has ever got so close.Parr and his small brigade have just received much-needed support. Earlier that morning, a strike team with eight Rural Fire Service (RFS) trucks from towns closer to Canberra arrived, joining the three based in Nerriga. Continue reading...
Sebastian Kurz to quit as Austrian chancellor due to corruption inquiry
Coalition partner, the Green party, demanded Kurz go after prosecutors announced investigationThe Austrian chancellor, Sebastian Kurz, said on Saturday that he plans to step down in an effort to defuse a government crisis triggered by prosecutors’ announcement that he is a target of a corruption investigation.Kurz, 35, said he has proposed that the foreign minister, Alexander Schallenberg, be his replacement. Kurz himself plans to become the head of his Austrian People’s party’s parliamentary group. Continue reading...
Old wounds are exposed as Spain finally brings up the bodies of Franco’s victims
In 1940, thousands of the dictator’s opponents were summarily shot and thrown into mass graves. Now these are being openedTrowel-heap by trowel-heap, brushstroke by brushstroke, a skull rises from a pillow of ochre earth. Its empty eye sockets stare up at the October sky and its jaw gapes, as if still screaming, gasping for air or remembering what happened on the other side of this bullet-bitten cemetery wall a year after the Spanish civil war had ended.Between 16 March and 3 May 1940, 26 Republican soldiers, workers, communists and trade unionists were summarily tried and shot dead in the central Spanish city of Guadalajara. Continue reading...
War still rages in Syrian border town at heart of Iran’s regional ambition
The site of Islamic State’s last stand is now the most hotly contested pocket of the Middle EastFrom a ridge known locally as Baghouz Mountain, the most contested corner of the Middle East resembles an oasis: it’s a splash of green on a desert horizon stretching from the banks of the Euphrates to a sprawling area of new homes housing new – and unruly – neighbours.Little moves in the heat of the day. The river that has sustained Iraq and eastern Syria through the ages comes alive at night, and so does the town of al-Bukamal, where smugglers, militia members, proxy groups, mercenaries and the armies of three nations have all taken prominent stakes since the juggernaut of Islamic State was defeated here three years ago. Continue reading...
Lebanon hit by electricity outage expected to last several days
Country’s two main power stations stop working due to fuel shortage plunging cities into darknessLebanon’s electricity grid collapsed on Saturday after its two main power plants ran out of fuel, plunging much of the crisis-ridden country into darkness for at least two days.The nationwide blackout marks a new low for the crumbling state, which has struggled to source dollars to pay market rates for fuel in the wake of a profound financial collapse that has decimated the local currency and forced the economy to a halt. Continue reading...
Three men injured in ‘reckless’ shooting in east London barber
Police appeal for witnesses after shots fired into shop in crowded part of Newham on FridayPolice are appealing for witnesses after three men were shot in a barber’s shop in east London.The Metropolitan police said officers were called to reports of a shooting in Upton Lane, Newham, just before 7pm on Friday. Continue reading...
Illegal spirits containing methanol kill 29 people in Russia
Nine people detained in connection with the deaths in Orenburg region bordering KazakhstanTwenty-nine people have died from alcohol poisoning this week in a region near Kazakhstan after consuming locally produced spirits that contained methanol, Russian authorities said.Investigators looking into the production and sale of the illegal spirits said nine people had been detained in connection with the deaths in the Orenburg region in the southern Urals, 1,500 kilometres (900 miles) south-east of Moscow. Continue reading...
Jailed Saudi aid worker’s sister hits out at Newcastle takeover
Sentence of 20 years for alleged critic of regime was upheld a day after controversial football deal was sealedThe sister of a Saudi aid worker jailed for tweeting criticism of the regime has spoken of her shock and anger after the Saudi-led takeover of Newcastle United was approved just 24 hours after the state upheld her brother’s 20-year sentence.Areej al-Sadhan said she had not spoken to her brother, Abdulrahman, for years and warned Newcastle fans that the club’s reputation was now firmly tied to the actions of the Saudi regime and its de facto ruler Mohammed bin Salman. She claimed her brother had been repeatedly abused in custody and called on the UK government to properly investigate who controls the Saudi Public Investment Fund (PIF) that now owns 80% of Newcastle. She said the club would now be “complicit in partnering with a savage person who murders people and tortures them”. Continue reading...
Taliban say they will not cooperate with US to contain IS extremists
Comments made as talks begin in Qatar to discuss allowing foreigners and at-risk Afghans to evacuateThe Taliban has ruled out cooperation with the US to contain extremist groups in Afghanistan, staking out an uncompromising position on a key issue ahead of the first direct talks between the former foes since the US withdrew from the country in August.Senior Taliban officials and US representatives are to meet on Saturday and Sunday in Doha, the capital of Qatar. Continue reading...
Review ordered after tribunal finds ‘sexist culture’ in Scotland’s armed police
Independent force will look into judgment supporting former officer Rhona Malone’s claim of victimisationAn independent review has been ordered after a tribunal found evidence of a “sexist culture” in Scotland’s armed policing.The case was brought by former officer Rhona Malone against Police Scotland alleging sex discrimination and victimisation. Continue reading...
Russia reports record daily Covid death toll as Kremlin shrugs off new lockdown
Taskforce says on Saturday that 968 people died with authorities blaming low vaccination rate
Lightning flashes over La Palma volcano as lava engulfs buildings – video
The red-hot eruption from the volcano on the Spanish island of La Palma was accompanied by flashes of lightning early on Saturday. A study published in 2016 by the journal Geophysical Research Letters found lightning can be produced during volcanic eruptions because the collision of ash particles creates an electrical charge
Bob Mortimer: ‘I’m comfortable with getting older, but I try not to look in the mirror’
The comedian, 62, on growing up shy in Middlesbrough, losing his dad, meeting Vic Reeves, and the deep contentment of fishingI was quite a shy boy. Growing up in Middlesbrough, I felt a bit of an outsider. My three elder brothers are funny and boisterous and I was in awe of them. I felt like an appendage. It’s probably the curse of being a younger kid. I’ve seen some become the loudest because they fight for their place, and others retreat to the fringes. I was in the latter group.If you’re the quietest at home, it’s tough to find a voice. I’ve always been quite a good mate to have because of that. If I ever did make a connection with anyone, it was very precious to me. My friendships are everything. Continue reading...
Tom Morello: ‘We came within a baby’s breath of a fascist coup in the US’
Lockdown and ‘looking after the grandmas’ may have kept the Rage Against the Machine guitarist away from recent protests – but he refuses to be silencedTom Morello has made more than 20 albums, as a founding member of Rage Against the Machine – the political rap-rock band who have sold 16m records, and whose 1992 track Killing in the Name has become a perennial protest anthem – and of the bands Audioslave and Prophets of Rage. He also plays solo under the name the Nightwatchman, and has toured with Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band. His unique approach to the guitar, which he has self-deprecatingly described as “making R2-D2 noises”, has led to him regularly being voted as one of the greatest guitar players of all time. His latest album, The Atlas Underground Fire (released on 15 October), features a series of collaborations recorded in lockdown – with Springsteen, Eddie Vedder, Damian Marley and Bring Me the Horizon, among others. He is a celebrated “nonsectarian socialist” political activist, famed for performing at demonstrations – he played at Occupy events across the US and Europe – and a co-founder of the nonprofit “social justice” organisation Axis of Justice.You recorded your new album in lockdown. Did the pandemic also mean you missed out on the ongoing protests in the US?
Former Iranian president Abolhassan Bani-Sadr dies aged 88
First president after 1979 Islamic revolution clashed with clerics and fled to exile in France a year laterAbolhassan Bani-Sadr, who became Iran’s first president after the 1979 Islamic revolution before fleeing into exile in France, has died aged 88.He died on Saturday at the Pitié-Salpêtrière hospital in Paris following a long illness, his wife and children said on Bani-Sadr’s official website. Continue reading...
At least four buildings on La Palma destroyed by volcano
Buildings near the crater on the Spanish island were engulfed by lava on Saturday morningBuildings near the volcano on the Spanish island of La Palma have been engulfed by rivers of lava, with the drama of the red-hot eruption intensified by the spectacle of flashes of lightning.The magma destroyed at least four buildings in the village of Callejon de la Gata, witnesses said. Continue reading...
Sindhu Vee and her father go back in time: ‘As a child, I was always copying him’
The comedian and her dad recreate a childhood photo and talk about early days in India, agoraphobia and swapping banking for comedyBorn in New Delhi in 1969, Sindhu Vee spent her childhood in India and the Philippines, before throwing herself into academia, getting degrees from Oxford, Montreal and Chicago universities. In her early 40s, she traded the world of investment banking for standup comedy. Her career quickly ascended, with appearances on QI, Have I Got News for You, Radio 4 and Netflix’s forthcoming adaptation of Matilda. She lives in London with her husband and three children; she is currently touring her new show Alphabet. Continue reading...
Brazil: massive sandstorm smothers parts of São Paulo state – video
A sandstorm made by powerful winds whipping up dust from the ground has engulfed Barretos and surrounding towns north of the city of São Paulo. The storms were triggered by the worst drought to hit Brazil in nine decades, which depleted hydroelectric reservoirs, forcing the grid operator to fire up more expensive thermoelectric plants and the government to implement a 'water scarcity' power rate. Continue reading...
Xi Jinping vows to fulfil Taiwan ‘reunification’ with China by peaceful means
Taiwan reiterates it is a sovereign nation after Xi says its ‘separatism’ is biggest ‘danger to national rejuvenation’China’s president, Xi Jinping, has vowed to realise “reunification” with Taiwan by peaceful means, after a week of heightened tensions in the Taiwan Strait.Taiwan responded shortly after by calling on Beijing to abandon its “coercion”, reiterating that only Taiwan’s people could decide their future. Continue reading...
On the far side of borders, a new Ireland is taking shape | Susan McKay
Evidence is mounting that Northern Ireland is failing. A different constitutional future seems increasingly likelyA powerful new play has just opened at Belfast’s Lyric theatre. The Border Game, by Michael Patrick and Oisín Kearney, is a fractured love story and a sharp political satire about the legacy of partition. Its setting is an abandoned customs hut on boggy ground beside a broken barbed-wire fence that marks the border between Northern Ireland, where Henry lives, and the Republic, where Sinead lives. The play is moving, honourable, and just a little bit messy. You get the impression the ending might change in the course of its run. But somehow this rawness at the edges seems quite befitting.The former lovers, who still appear to be in love, attempt to tell each other why they separated, each of them wounded by the conviction that it was the choice of the other. They have survived, but they are haunted by the proximity of others who did not. There is a ruinous sense of responsibility to the dead. Resorting to desperate hilarity, they come up with a word: “Borderfucked. Twelve letters. The condition of being fucked economically, socially and psychologically due to the stroke of a pen. Common in Ireland, the Middle East, and all over the fucking world.”Susan McKay is an Irish writer and journalist whose books include Northern Protestants – On Shifting Ground Continue reading...
Maria Ressa says her Nobel prize is for ‘all journalists around the world’
Press groups and rights activists hail peace prize won by vocal critic of Philippine president Rodrigo DuterteVeteran Philippine journalist Maria Ressa has said her Nobel peace prize was for “all journalists around the world” as she vowed to continue her battle for press freedom.Ressa, co-founder of news website Rappler, and Russian journalist Dmitry Muratov were awarded the prize on Friday for their efforts to “safeguard freedom of expression”. Continue reading...
‘There is a reason why famous people are often screwed up’: Tim Minchin on quitting comedy
The Australian composer has returned to performing after a 10-year break. He writes about fame, failure and his surprise comebackIn 2003, I booked a tiny venue for Melbourne fringe festival, to perform a show I had tortuously titled Navel: Cerebral Melodies With Umbilical Chords. It was a sort of dark, ridiculous cabaret, and a desperate attempt to shake off the pain of all the rejections I had been getting (agents/record companies/the dude who approves small loans at the bank), by showcasing my various “talents”, which arguably included unusually clear diction, considerable manual dexterity, and a love of cheap double entendre. (Which is to say there were some outstanding jokes about fingering.)Navel was a gamechanger for me, because I knew I had an unusual toolkit, and although I knew I had a tendency to play the clown, I didn’t by any stretch think of myself as a comedian. But that night, everything changed: the 30-odd weirdos perched on bar stools and chaises longues laughed. A lot. Continue reading...
Ready, steady … oh. Can a life coach shake me out of my pandemic-induced ennui?
It started in bed one morning when I realised I hadn’t had an original thought for months. I needed someone to make me wake upFor some reason it takes me two and a half hours to email my life coach. I write “email life coach guy” on my to-do list. I have a really long shower. I riffle through a stack of unopened New Yorkers, and pretend I am either going to read them, or leave them in my building’s lobby for my neighbours to claim, and in the end I do neither. I watch a 20-minute YouTube video about Amir Khan’s boxing career (“The legendary speed of Amir Khan!”), then check Wikipedia to see how he fared in the fight the video was trailing (an embarrassing knockout). I send three tweets and scroll Instagram. I stand at the fridge and eat some hummus with a plain cracker for no reason at all. Finally, I sit and write the email. It is 36 words long. Tomas, the life coach, writes back almost immediately. That was the absolute last thing I wanted.The pandemic was broadly fine for me. I worked at home anyway, so I didn’t have any shock adjustment to make. I didn’t (and still don’t) have any children to look after, so there wasn’t any particular agony with my many lives layering on top of each other in a confined space. My girlfriend, Hannah, and I did the usual things to stay sane when confronted with seemingly endless periods of time and no real social life: jigsaws, taking too long to cook dinner, a Sopranos rewatch. Continue reading...
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