I went to the Super Bowl and all I got was this lousy picture of me and Grumpy Cat

Sick children, elderly women and the internet at large have a lot of love for this feline internet celebrity - otherwise known as the 'Mother Theresa of memes'

In which I find myself, at this station in life, sitting in the lobby of the Fairmont Hotel petting something called "Grumpy Cat" while her owner tells me they are here at the Super Bowl because one of the teams has a cat for a mascot"

I scratch Grumpy Cat's head. She sniffs my finger. She licks her nose. And I pray this morning that the geological fault far beneath my feet does not shudder, that the earth does not shake and the Fairmont's walls will not collapse for that means the final act of my career's work is to ask an elfin cat with a pouty face if she even knows what a Carolina Panther is.