On the road: Citroën DS car review – ‘It has power and poke, even if it understates them’

It's trying to look kooky but grown up, like a stilt walker who still manages to look sexy

The Citroin DS4 came in Tourmaline Orange. I'm just going to leave that there. I'm definitely not going to point out that tourmaline is a silicate mineral compound and could come in any colour. The DS has a lot of cute, pointless little innovations: the handles on the back doors are at the top of the window, not in the middle of the door; the front grate looks like the alien's smile in Home; there's a whole ton of chrome, which, let's face it, is more of a treat for the onlooker than the driver.

I certainly saw no lack of panache in this vehicle, though I struggled to place it between "family" and "fun" (Citroin frames it "for the nonconformist", which is sweet and quite, quite wrong: the last car a nonconformist would buy is a new one). In fact, this ambiguity is deliberate: it's called a Crossback, to mark it out as some advance on a hatchback - a little bit taller, a brawler, roof bars, slightly beefed-up ground clearance. Don't get me wrong; it's no SUV - I'm not sure what kind of ground it's trying to clear. I wouldn't drive it off-road. I think it's just trying to look kooky but grown up, like a woman in a French film who is really into walking on stilts yet still manages to be outrageously sexy.