Kia Sportage car review: ‘It’s trying to look a bit beefier and more SUV-ish than it actually is’

Once the Kia has settled into its speed, it is confident, solid and grippy

I think the Kia Sportage is best understood channelled through the energy of family resentment. Imagine you have a cousin who has always been better than you at things you pretend not to care about. In adolescence, your parents said: "Why can't you be more like Steve?" and your tacit response was a direct 50:50 split between: "Because Steve is a twat" and: "Why couldn't I have had a manly name like Steve?"

Anyway, fast forward to 2016, and Steve has arrived on your drive with a Kia Sportage. He must be doing OK for himself, you think (it is 31,650 OTR), and yet he is moving in circles where he doesn't quite feel he belongs. This is a car that's trying to look a bit beefier, more SUV-ish and ski slope-ready than it actually is. The snout has a curvaceous, American styling but the drive is a little diesel-ey and wheezy, not so much New Hampshire as regular Hampshire. So Steve has a little bit of status anxiety, you think. Maybe later you'll test him at ping pong.