A note from the new CEO of Lobstero

Something Awful is running a letter of explanation written by the CEO of Lobstero, who is fighting back against unfair criticism of its wi-fi enabled lobster dispensing unit.

First, let me be very clear: Lobstero's Lobster Packs are much more than just a lobster in a plastic bag. These pouches contain specially conditioned saltwater designed to preserve your lobster's unique qualities. Each pouch allows our lobster to interface directly with our supply chain, ensuring that Lobstero pouches are never more than three-days old.

Squeezing the lobster out of the pack will startle it, possibly injuring it in the process. The Lobstero Home Lobster Station gently applies pressure to the back of the pouch, easing the lobster out of its pouch and into your favorite dish.

If you don't know what's going on here, read this.