Universities! Here's your treachery-free post-Brexit syllabus

A Tory MP and the Daily Mail have revealed that UK universities are hotbeds of anti-Brexit thinking. A new and improved syllabus will put a stop to all that

Universities! What are they like? If they're not taking money from people who don't even use them like no other public service ever, they're championing anti-Brexit thinking! Just because they rely on things like knowledge and education and analysis and expertise and study and facts and an awareness of how reality works, they think they can defy the will of some of the people at a particular point in time from over a year ago? Such arrogance! Such elitism! This sabotage has not gone unnoticed, especially by the top lads over at the Daily Mail, with their front-page splash.

This cannot be allowed to continue. Everyone knows that Brexit is brilliant and all-powerful, but also simultaneously fragile and weak, so must be protected and shielded from even the slightest scrutiny or pressure. It's like an unborn golden eagle. Or a palace, made entirely out of dry manure and blind optimism.