How do you know if you’re a jerk? | Oliver Burkeman

I'm sure you don't feel like a jerk. Nobody does. Few of us like to believe anything negative about ourselves

Do you think it's possible you might be a jerk? It's a rude question, I know, but not a totally absurd one. After all, we're surrounded by jerks - if you don't believe me, glance at the headlines, drive home during rush hour, or check Twitter - so, statistically, it's entirely plausible that one of them is you. I'm sure you don't feel like a jerk, of course. But nobody does. Partly that's because few of us like to believe anything negative about ourselves.

But, as the philosopher Eric Schwitzgebel has argued in several essays, it's also because the essence of jerkitude (which, he argues, is distinct from other forms of obnoxiousness) is "to see the world through goggles that dim others' humanity". Jerks view other people "as tools to be manipulated or fools to be dealt with, rather than as moral and epistemic peers". So if you're a jerk to people, and they respond in predictable ways - with anger, irritation or, if you're lucky, friendly criticism - you won't take their reactions seriously, assuming you're even listening at all. Why? Because you're a jerk.