John Kelly boasts about firing Rex Tillerson while he was on the toilet

Meet John Kelly, the White House's "adult in the room":

Reporters gathered at the White House on Friday were stunned when Chief of Staff John Kelly shared a very embarrassing story about outgoing Secretary of State Rex Tillerson.

Kelly recounted a very awkward conversation with Tillerson during which he informed the secretary that President Donald Trump would very likely soon fire him. ... Tillerson, Kelly told the room, was suffering from a stomach bug during a diplomatic swing through Africa, and was using a toilet when Kelly broke the news to him.

Sources were stunned that, even in an off-record setting, Kelly would say this-to a room filled with White House officials and political reporters-about Tillerson, who does not officially leave the State Department until the end of the month.

The idea that John Kelly is the "grown-up" is one of the saddest lies the press tells itself about Trump's White House. Kelly is a stone-faced moron in public and an adolescent boy in private, a Jessup-esque archetype of the military lifer made real. A perfect fit for Trump, not a foil.