Valentine's Day Gift Guide
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Rainbow Heart Shaped Pillow
Evocative of emojis, but not shaped like poo, and perfect for the 11 year-old daughter who'll demand I participate in this holiday. - Jason
Titanium Pill Holder Keychain Necklace
Compartment will accommodate psychoactive pills of your choosing. - Mark
Kawaii Skeleton Onesie
Nothing says intimacy that a sexy peek at your insides - Cory
Gigantic 55-Gallon Oil Drum of Lube
Water-based. The 55-gallon drum of sexual lubricant is a time-honored Boing Boing Gift Guide tradition. The price has gone up. - Xeni
Beyond Buckskin
Buy "Indian" crafts from Indian people. Beaded earrings, quillwork, cozy mocs, warm blankets, authentic dream catchers, birch bark baskets, all from Native American artisans. - Xeni
Belgian Darts Set
End grain basswood board, scoring rings separated by hydraulically inserted brass, and polished steel-tipped darts with birch wood barrels and shafts - Rob
Vessel vape pen
The nicest-looking, feeling, and functioning 510 thread battery "vape pen" I've tried. Rose gold and walnut wood options, for the whole gender spectrum. Check site for sales and discounts on open-box pens. - Xeni
Nepali Cherish Greeting Card & Envelope Box Set with Handmade Lokta Paper from Nepal, 15 Cards (Bougainvillea)
This beautiful, handmade paper is pressed with flower petals, making it perfect for love notes like "Let's get it on, sugar" but you have to write out the URL to the Marvin Gaye song. - Jason
Tardigrade Bikini
Why didn't they think of this sooner! - Mark
Liberator Sex Furniture
As endorsed by Oh Joy Sex Toy: made in America by high-waged workers, the company makes foam wedges, half-spheres, pillows and even loungers that help couples (or more!) comfortably sustain sexual positions that might otherwise be difficult or impossible, whether due to a lack of athleticism or some kind of disability. - Cory
Pure Bulgarian Rose Otto
Is it an aphrodisiac? An aromatherapy elixir? A sexy scent? Hey, why not all of the above. - Xeni
Devil Heart Necklace
Because you just need to get the Valentine's Day situation dealt with ASAP. - Rob
Leather Handcuffs by Crave
A new twist for the old ball and chain. Works as a bracelet, too! - Mark
Woman World
A kind of gender-oriented, post-apocalyptic episode of Portlandia, where the bohemian free spirits of the man-free world get their own little asides for romance, reminiscence, politics, coming of age, depression, exploration. - Cory
Kawaii Heart Stickers
Five bucks a sheet - Rob
Kinky and Kooky Excerpts from America's First Sex Magazine
Founded in 1933, Sexology explores important romance-related issues, such as: extra breasts in women, pregnant men, humans with tails, and human-animal crossbreeding. - Mark
Drawn to Sex
The Oh Joy Sex Toy folks always deliver quality material, and a general sex-ed book is sorely needed and very welcome indeed - Cory
Funko's Cuddle Team Leader
She is cute, she is caring and she'll dance on your eliminated skin! I swoon for Cuddle Team Leader. - Jason
Hu Dark Cashew Butter and Vanilla Bean Chocolate Bars
Parse these heavenly treats out as a reward for good behavior. - Mark
Art of Dungeons and Dragons:
Contains a 400-page retrospective of the classic art of D&D, a reprint of the notoriously hard Tomb of Horrors module (designed by Gary Gygax to challenge the most overpowered characters), and frameable lithos. It's incredible. - Cory
Oud oil
Rising Phoenix Perfumery on Etsy is a trustworthy purveyor of exotic, extremely high end medicinal/fragrance oils. The real deal extracts. Oud is one of the most amazing scents, with each variety a uniquely provocative and primal fragrance. Gender neutral. - Xeni
Pink, Heart-shaped Post-it Notes
Low-effort perfection for the office. - Rob
XGCMY Leather Paly Buckle Belt Silicon Mouth Ball Gag for Men Women (Red)
When what you want is silence, sometimes it's nice to offer a solution, instead of just hinting. Some people need help shutting the fuck up. The red ball reminds me of a clown nose, so I picked that one. - Jason
Valentine Rope Heart
Hrm. - Rob
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