The Live-Action LEGO Porn Parody Is Here to Corrupt Your Childhood

Last year, we dove deep into the world of LEGO porn, the plastic brick-based genre made by fans who fantasize about fucking characters from the popular toy franchise.

Today, the porn parody specialists at Woodrocket released The Laygo Movie, a live-action rendering of those brick-based fantasies. This is a brave, costume-intensive work of madness. The performers are packed into boxy yellow-painted outfits and asked to deliver lines like "She's built like a brickhouse playset" with straight faces. It's masterful.

"Nobody thinks Rammit is special. Even Wildpiehole has her doubts...until she gets a load of his big yellow pants-brick," according to a press release. "It is the Penis of Resistance. Now it's up to them to go Fifty Shades of Yellow before it is too late!"

Read more:Watch the 'Dragon Ball Z' Porn Parody Trailer If You Dare

Gabriella Paltrova, as "Wildpiehole," deserves an Oscar for delivering lines like "Dicksburg has become a post-ablockalyptic glandscape" without handing in her peg-shaped helmet costume on the spot. Playing "Rammit" is Donnie Rock, who is granted the "Penis of Resistance" that will save the world from utter destruction if they don't figure out how to use it... I don't know. The plot is a little murky to me from there. Someone watch the Pornhub Premium full version and let me know.

There's even a nod to LEGO porn as a genre, with a scene of figurines fuckin':

The song, much like the original LEGO Movietheme song "Everything is Awesome," is a banger. "Cover everything in hot cum," it proclaims joyfully. "My dick is brick number 4733." Of course I looked it up: Brick 4733 is a 1x1 square with studs on four sides. I guess it's not the size of your brick, but what you do with it.