Later-in-life virgins – ‘At my age, it becomes a red flag’

In these open-minded times, one taboo has held steady: never having had sex at all. Four thirtysomething virgins explain how they deal with the stigma

Richard's colleagues call him their work therapist. He's empathetic and a good listener, he says - "so a lot of people tell me about their personal shit", including the people he works with at his retail management job in the south-eastern US. But when they complain to him about their sex lives, or he sees happy couples hand-in-hand in the shop, "I think: 'That's not something that's going to happen for me.'" At 31, Richard is a virgin.

If it seems as though taboos about sex have lifted in these ostensibly open-minded times, there is one that holds steady: the stigma over never having had sex. While it has become widely unacceptable to criticise someone for having too many partners, being a virgin "still seems to be something that can be only mocked or shamed or suspect", says Richard.