Travelling in Europe, my small talk annoyed people. But in New Zealand, it flows easily | Eleanor Ainge Roy

The ceaseless banter we engage in unthinkingly often goes so much deeper than exchanging shallow pleasantries

It was the hottest day of the European heatwave and I was preparing for a dinner party in a Roelofarendsveen, a quiet Dutch village 30km south of Amsterdam.

I'd cycled to the local supermarket to stock up on supplies, and as I passed through the checkout I chatted to the cashier as we reflexively do in New Zealand. How has your day been? My gosh - it's so hot! When you do think this will break?