‘What were you thinking of, Johnson?’ What the ghost of Princess Margaret might tell the PM

Helena Bonham Carter says she discussed her part in The Crown with the deceased royal. What advice might Her Royal Highness have for Boris Johnson?

Oh, it's you, Johnson. I suppose once that silly Bonham Carter woman had blabbed about our conversation then it was inevitable that you would come out of the woodwork. Not that you can even trust her to report what was said accurately. All I said was that I had been dead for more than 17 years and I didn't give a damn if she played me or not. Personally, I could think of several others - Grace Kelly, for one, who would have done a better job - but as they have all croaked as well, I suppose that might have been tricky.

Will you please stop talking while I'm interrupting? And why did you have to call at such an inconvenient time? Didn't anyone tell you that I spend the hours between two and four sleeping off the first few drinks of the day?