How to be a good listener: my mission to learn the most important skill of all
I was very suspicious about this assignment. Kate Murphy's new book, You're Not Listening, suggests that many of us - absorbed in our own thoughts and dreams, occupying our little digital bubbles - have lost the ability to listen, creating an epidemic of loneliness and isolation. The thesis seems inherently plausible - but why me? Are you trying to tell me something about my inability, or perhaps unwillingness, to listen?
As my editor started telling me how I might approach this piece, I began - much to the amusement of our colleagues - interrupting her. OK, maybe I do have a little problem shutting up for a few minutes to listen; a tendency to anticipate what the other person is going to say and reply before they have even had the chance to express it the way they want to. "Bad listeners are not necessarily bad people," Murphy says in her book, but being unable or unwilling to listen is not an attractive characteristic. It's time for a spot of re-education. Let's hope that after a life of lecturing rather than listening, it's not too late.
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