Adulting merit badges
There's an entire set of merit badges for "adulting" [Amazon], each a handsomely-embroidered Scouting-style achievement related to the tasks we can all aspire to complete and qualities to embody. [via @codinghorror]
Many are simply humorous, such as "put on pants" and "abandoned a shopping cart", but others echo a grind of life - "reduced screen time", "paid bills on time", "minded my own business" - that carries the vaguely embittered flavor of Millennials ground-down by their elders but too meek to fight back. That task shall presumably be left to the Zoomer security committees of the coming decade, which may not even have merit badges at all.
These are all iron-on, obviously.
There are thirty in all, but no badge for "ordered the complete set".