The kids' playground has reopened – my gratitude lasted for two visits | Emma Brockes

Meeting up with friends, going to restaurants and shops - it's the thrill of a lifetime. For a bit

The first day we went to the playground it was empty. It was a sweltering Sunday afternoon in the city, and although it was the day before playgrounds in New York officially reopened, someone kind had unbolted the gate. After almost four months of being locked out, my children stood still, staring at the swings as if they'd never seen them before, and eventually ran off to play. This particular playground, surrounded by 30-storey apartment blocks and abutting a school, was latterly one of the busiest in my neighbourhood and if there was something chilling about being the only ones there, it also permitted a delusion: that we, and the city, had changed.

The phrase I keep hearing and using myself this week, is, We can't go on like this for ever." It's one of those statements, like it is what it is", and what are you going to do?" that seeks, in the absence of external causes for cheer, nonetheless to make us feel better. In this case, it is also exculpatory.