The power of touch: I held my father's hand as he faded away. It was the purest exchange of love

Through months of illness, I held his sturdy, consistent and loving hands, knowing he would muster the strength until he truly could no longer

Welcome to the Guardian's Power of Touch series

At some point in the 1970s, the late, great Bill Withers did a live recording of his song Grandma's Hands. In the recording, he speaks plainly to the audience, folksy and casual, and introduces the song by saying he was raised by just a nice old lady who used some very nice old gnarled hands to make life kinda nice for me at the time, when I really needed somebody". He proceeds to sing one of the most beautiful songs I know, celebrating all that his grandmother's hands, and the work they did, meant to him, and how much he misses them.

The absence of the touch of all those we love is a profound loss. And so we grieve. As I, too, grieve the loss of so much of our beloved world, I think of my other griefs and the touch I miss most of all - my father's. He passed away in May 2018, after what many called a short illness" but in reality took an agonising three months. During those long days, I held his hand. It became a routine. I'd go into the room and tell him that pumpkin is here!" and search underneath the hospital blankets for those big, strong hands, with long fingers that helped make him such a nimble guitarist.