tigervnc ssh working but I get a blank screen

HI all-

My command to run tigervnc server looks like this:

/usr/bin/Xvnc :1 -auth /home/user/.Xauthority -fp catalogue:/etc/X11/fontpath.d -geometry 1600x845 -pn -rfbauth /home/user/.vnc/passwd -localhost -rfbport 5901 -rfbwait 30000

I run my forwarding with ssh like this:
ssh user@ip -L 5901:localhost:5901

I start the sshd service with systemctl start sshd.

my xstartup looks like this:

#!/bin/sh

unset SESSION_MANAGER
unset DBUS_SESSION_BUS_ADDRESS
[-r $HOME/.Xresources] && xrdb $HOME/.Xresources
xsetroot -solid grey
exec xfce4-session &

and config looks like this:

securitytypes=vncauth,tlsvnc,VeNCrypt
session =xfce.desktop
# desktop=sandbox
# geometry=2000x1200
# localhost
# alwaysshared

I get a blank screen! It looks like the viewer window with the vncviewer logo in the top left of the screen but it is not loading the desktop.

I try to start it with vncviewer -via user@ip
It says Tigervnc:
and then asks for my passphrase

when I close out it says connected to localhost port xxxx
channel 3 open failed: connection refused.

I am at my wits end. Is there anything that seems out of place here?

thanks for any help,
roboloki