‘A hole in our family’: Jude Strickland’s family reflects on his life, his impact and the path forward

When people come to a certain point in their lives, they may reflect on what difference they made in the world or the effect they may have had on the people around them.

Jude Strickland's parents Jamie and Vanessa know their son likely never considered those questions - but they're certain of what the answer would be.

Jude's made a massive impact - more than most," said Jamie Strickland. We're unbelievably proud of that and thankful that his life was a life of significance, even if it was a short one."

Jude, 11, died on Dec. 3, just two days after he was hit by a truck while crossing the street at a crosswalk on his way home from school on the east Hamilton Mountain. A 28-year-old Hamilton man has been charged with dangerous operation causing death in the crash.

Although his life was taken so recklessly," Jamie and Vanessa said they have found bittersweet encouragement" in how their son's story has affected people - both near and far.

The pair have heard that people who haven't prayed in years" are thinking about their faith again. Drivers are taking the opportunity to slow down this holiday season. Some are looking to Jude's faith and his heart for showing love to others" as means of inspiration.

We would have never, ever wanted Jude to have to die for any of this to happen but ... it's like a ripple effect and thousands of more people are being impacted," said Vanessa. It's a bit of joy to experience that even in the middle of grief."

A smile that would lift your spirit'

Remembering their son Saturday, Jamie said Jude was full of life," loved adventure and was always looking to make sure people felt included, often seeking out kids who were alone - either at church or at school - inviting them to play.

Vanessa described Jude as a loyal young man, who loved to have fun but would always stand up for what was right and good," even if it was hard.

We saw so many good things in Jude that we loved and admired," said Jamie. We were challenged and inspired by just his heart."

Jude was also your typical 11-year-old boy, Vanessa added. He loved playing Minecraft and Fortnite, climbing trees, creating an imaginary game outside with his brothers and memorizing scripture from the Bible.

But through anything in life, you'd always find him with a joyful smile, said Jamie, who is a pastor at West Highland Church.

If you were feeling down ... it would lift your spirit," he said. I think that's what we'll miss most, that joy in our family and the joy he offered to people."

A hole in the family'

As the second-oldest boy in the family, Jamie said they're now realizing the connector" role Jude played.

In a lot of ways, he was the glue of the brothers," said Jamie. There is a hole in the family between Noah and the younger two, that Jude would fill."

Comparing Jude to his older brother Noah, Vanessa said they couldn't be more opposite. Noah is quiet, introverted and calm while Jude was the party." But he was able to draw out" that side of him.

For his little brothers Blaise and Haddon, Jude was the crazy uncle," said Vanessa. He was always riling them up or starting a new game.

Jude would often run around the house with Haddon on his back, and on their walks home from school he'd push Haddon on his scooter - making sure he was going as fast as possible.

It was always let's do it the fastest, the most exciting or how can we make whatever we're doing that's normal more fun,' that was Jude," she said.

In the weeks since Jude died, the grief the brothers are experiencing has come out in small ways. If Blaise sees his parents sharing an emotional moment, he'll cuddle into them. Other times it's Haddon praying for Jude at the dinner table - but quickly realizing that he is not with us anymore."

Right now, it's talking about memories and remembering different things that Jude would do or say," said Vanessa.

Support from community hard to quantify'

Since the crash, the family has been overwhelmed" by support from West Highland Church, the Templemead Elementary School community as well as their neighbourhood.

Dinner has been dropped off at their house nearly every night. A former classmate of Jude's collected gift cards for the family. Jamie's inbox on Facebook has been overflowing with messages of prayer and support from complete strangers.

In their community, neighbours have also put construction paper hearts in their windows - many with Jude's name written on them for the family to see as they walk their dog.

Describing it as just a small" gesture, Jamie said it means so much" considering they only moved to Hamilton in September 2019.

It's hard to quantify the way that the community has supported us," said Jamie. It feels like we've been here for a long time ... we want to thank everyone for journeying with us and to continue to journey with us, as we'll still be grieving for a long time."

As for that journey, Jamie and Vanessa only see one path forward.

It's not something that comes easy, it's not the first emotion that comes to mind but we choose to forgive because we've been forgiven by God," said Jamie. I think that's the healthiest place for us to be."

And the two also know that one day they'll be reunited with Jude through their faith in Christ."

During this year's advent season, lighting the Candle of Hope has taken on a whole new meaning for their family.

It's a light that shines in the darkness," said Jamie. It doesn't mean that we're not grieving but we grieve with hope that this isn't the final word."

Fallon Hewitt is a Hamilton-based reporter at The Spectator. Reach her via email: fhewitt@thespec.com