Article 5E5S6 I found love when I least expected it — during a global pandemic. Here is how I navigated it

I found love when I least expected it — during a global pandemic. Here is how I navigated it

by
Fallon Hewitt - Spectator Reporter
from on (#5E5S6)
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I never expected to find a partner during the pandemic.

I started out my COVID-19 journey in rural Ontario with my parents. I had just moved back home from New Brunswick and was waiting for my apartment in Hamilton.

Eventually I moved into my basement apartment with my cat, Alaska. It was the first time I'd ever lived alone. What a time to make that transition.

To lessen the mental blow, I joined my best friend Rob's household.

We spent summer and spring together. We roller skated, ate takeout on my front porch, went hiking and even had drinks on a few patios. I didn't see anyone else.

But, I dabbled in the potential of pandemic-style dating all along.

I'd download the typical lineup of dating apps: Tinder, Hinge and Bumble. I tried them all in hopes that something might stick despite the lingering question of how it all would work.

None seemed to last a day before they vanished from my phone as I reminded myself that no person would ever be worth giving up bubbling with a best friend. I've also always been one of those people that's said meeting people online isn't my thing and that it's not organic" enough for my liking.

Turns out, an evening spent on Hinge in November - encouraged by Rob, no less - was enough to change my mind.

I logged back on, firing up an account that had been dormant for months. I had a few likes, one from a guy who apparently lived in my neighbourhood. He had an English bulldog, he liked bowling and in one of his photos, he had a mask on with the prompt how history will remember me."

Socially conscious with a cute dog? Sign me up.

I liked" Zeke (that's his name) back and we got to talking. He asked me about roller derby and working at the newspaper. We talked about life during the pandemic and of course, the before" times. We chatted so much that I have a hard time remembering all the topics we covered, something I've never had happen with someone I met on a dating app. The conversations tend to die or become one-sided and boring, but this one was different.

Eventually, after two weeks of talking over Hinge, we scheduled a socially distanced walk with masks on. Like other stories I've read about pandemic dating, we seemingly skipped the video chat dates and went right for it.

The day of our walk came and I was so incredibly nervous that I nearly chickened out.

I'd never landed a date via a dating app. But, I guess the middle of a pandemic was the best time to try it?

Zeke and I ended up meeting on the sidewalk near my house, masked up and off we went.

Over the course of the next five hours we grabbed coffee at The Cannon, walked around Gage Park and spent time meandering around the Hamilton Antique Mall on Ottawa Street. I yammered on about my love of thrifting and Pyrex, while he talked about his family and friends.

It was probably the best date I've ever been on during the craziest time of my life.

We'd continue going on walks, each for hours at a time. One of our dates even took us to the grocery store, while others brought us to Salvation Army and the Mission Thrift Store up on the Mountain.

Eventually we got to talking about making it official," so we weighed the risks.

Zeke had already had COVID-19 in September - he actually made The Spec, since his case caused his work to close for a few days. But how much stock can you put into immunity, since we know little about the virus?

I live alone and wasn't visiting my immunocompromised family. My job takes me out into the world occasionally, but usually outside and never for prolonged amounts of time. But I was bubbled up with a household already.

So I had to make a choice: Would it be Rob's family or Zeke that I pair up with as the cases rose in Ontario?

Luckily, I have the best friend in the world who was not offended when we discussed the decision to burst our bubble. Rob told me to go for it. He knew it was something I wanted and that I was happy. To say I was relieved was an understatement.

So, we formed our bubble and I'd say the rest has been history.

Starting a relationship during a global crisis is something I never expected, but it's been a lifesaver.

Zeke is steady and calming during this time that has taken so much away from everyone - thankfully, the bliss of my new relationship has remained unscathed.

I have someone to binge Netflix with. We cook Sunday dinner. We find little joys in hiking new trails, trying local restaurants, going on dates to Costco and feeding the squirrels in Gage Park.

We're also able to see the side of one another that maybe wouldn't have been unearthed for years down the line.

If I were to find one glimmer of light during this awful period, it's the amount of time it's given me to just talk and get to know someone else. Even though Zeke and I have only known each other for a few months, the amount of time spent together feels like years.

And although the future after this time is a hard one to imagine - we've got a long list of date ideas for when that time comes.

Lovers in a dangerous time: Here are some of Hamilton's pandemic-era couples

The Hamilton Spectator put a number of calls out to the community for their pandemic love stories and these are some of the responses.

Here are their stories about how they navigated love during COVID-19 and what their pandemic-era relationship has given them.

Carrie Jeffery and Dave Campbell

Carrie Jeffery and Dave Campbell's love story is a reunion more than three decades in the making.

The pair originally met when they both stood up in a wedding together - Jeffery was 16, and Campbell was 20.

Fast forward to March of last year, Jeffery, now 50, caught word that Campbell, 54, had asked about her. Shocked to hear he'd never been married, she spent some serious time" thinking about whether or not she'd even want to try a relationship.

But, she decided to open her mind - and knowing how shy he once was, she asked a friend for his phone number.

I wasn't waiting any longer," said Jeffery.

The timing created by the pandemic couldn't have been more perfect." Jeffery was laid off, so she had on her hands. They started to text back and forth, which progressed to talking on the phone.

Two weeks later, Campbell came to town to visit her - he lives out of town on a farm - and they went for a walk at Bayfront Park.

The rest was history.

Since Jeffery lives alone, Campbell now comes to Hamilton every weekend to visit her. They cook meals together, have parking lot dates and even managed to meet each other's families in the summer when restrictions were low.

Jeffery admits the pandemic has elevated their relationship. While the pair continue to navigate the challenges of COVID-19 - Campbell cares for his elderly mother - they still manage to laugh together, sing and dance in the kitchen and support one another.

This is the best, healthiest, most sincere relationship I've had in my whole life," said Jeffery. This past year has been so difficult, but having someone, it's immeasurable."

Alyson King and Amy Cuddy

Like the saying goes, opposites attract - Alyson King and Amy Cuddy are living proof of just that.

King is a Soprano 1, while Cuddy is an Alto 2 - one sings the highest vocal range, while the other sings the lowest.

The pair met this past summer through the Myriad Ensemble Choir in Burlington. They knew each other casually until they were grouped together for socially-distanced, masked carolling during the holiday season.

But, a relationship quickly grew between the two of them, said Cuddy, 29. They both have dogs and started meeting up at the dog park to hangout.

We would spend hours in the cold just talking," said Cuddy. Soon enough, the pair started video calling each night and have virtual movie nights nearly every other day.

King, 25, said all that talking, mostly due to COVID-19 keeping them somewhat separated, expedited" the relationship building process and helped them get to know each other at a faster pace. They also actively chose" to spend all that virtual time together, something they agree may have been different if traditional" dating could have happened.

It was such a natural progression ... that now it feels like we've been together for months even though it's only been a couple," said Cuddy. It feels like a year, in a good way."

Nearly forced to separate even further when the province went into lockdown on Boxing Day, Cuddy's family opened their bubble to King, who lives alone in Hamilton. Cuddy's father, a doctor in Burlington, had also been vaccinated - giving them some peace of mind.

After a two-week quarantine, King officially joined their household. And even with the world mostly closed off, she's never felt alone even when the two are apart.

I don't feel isolated," said King. I always have Amy on the other end of the phone always willing to take time to talk to me."

Amy Chong and Jason Barry

Amy Chong and Jason Barry technically got back together during the pandemic.

But that's only if you consider a two-week summer fling" a relationship, at a Bancroft summer camp when they were both 14 years old.

Chong, 31, said the pair had remained friends for many years after but they lost touch around 2012.

It remained that way until last September, when a Facebook memory popped up reminding her about Barry. Seeking him out on Facebook, she realized that he'd deleted her but she had no clue" as to why.

Then, a week later, a message popped up on her Instagram. Coincidentally, it was Barry, 31, asking her how she was. They started talking once again, and they hit it off - Chong described it as one of those ah-ha" moments that you see in a romantic comedy.

It was kind of funny in that way," she said. And then we made plans to get together a couple of weeks later."

With Barry then living in Oshawa, the pair were forced into long-distance at the beginning. They spent a lot of time texting and video calling and on weekends, Chong would drive down for visits.

We spent a lot more time getting to know each other in such a short amount of time," she said.

But when the second lockdown began, all of that had to stop. Chong is an essential worker in the city's shelter system - so, they made the decision that Barry would come stay in Hamilton.

Having Barry around has been comforting," said Chong. A majority of her friends are also essential workers and with shift work, they sometimes don't have time to catch up on a regular basis.

He has been a big help and a shoulder to lean on," she said. It's always nice to have someone on the outside to confide in."

Meredith Park and Jordan Gibson

Meredith Park and Jordan Gibson's love story started with a right swipe on Bumble.

But, it was Park's choice to start the conversation - that's how the dating app works. All of Gibson's photos had him on a bike, which caught Park's eye.

I was so nervous because I don't know how to talk to people on apps, so I was like Cool bike,'" said Park, 27.

Biking quickly became the common interest that brought the pair together. They would text back and forth, talking about biking and bike camping, and like clockwork, decided to meet up to go on a bike ride around the end of July.

I felt like I was totally awkward, I didn't know if she was going to text me back," said Gibson, 29. But, she just kept messaging me."

They ended up spending the summer riding bikes together - something Park had hoped to do lots of.

And by October, many bike rides, park hangouts and a few bike camping trips later, the pair decided to give their relationship a shot after a slow-burn," said Park. Even until then, they'd never kissed and had only hugged twice - playing it safe with COVID-19.

The pair said they think their relationship would have likely played out the same, pandemic or not, but the added boundary of distance took some of the pressure off the physical part of the relationship - since they were always six-feet apart, talking as they rode.

Having that time to feel that developing, like the physical chemistry you can always sort out, but getting to know someone is really nice," said Park.

Now deep into winter and the second wave, the pair spend weekends hiking while Park has bubbled up with Gibson's family. Her relatives live near Washington, D.C. but having Gibson around makes things easier."

I feel like I won the lottery," said Park. I'm really happy."

Fallon Hewitt is a Hamilton-based reporter at The Spectator. Reach her via email: fhewitt@thespec.com

Valentine's Day ideas pandemic-style

Dinner by candlelight. A trip to the bowling alley. A night out at the movies. Doesn't that all sound dreamy?

Well, you'll just have to wait.

As for this Valentine's Day, staying in and staying apart will be the norm, but that it isn't all doom and gloom.

Here are some ideas to make this Valentine's Day great:

  • Cook a homemade meal together or bake a dessert neither of you have ever tried

  • Go for a walk in one of Hamilton's conservation areas or explore the Bruce Trail

  • Book a skating slot at one of the city's skating rinks or rent snowshoes and head out to King's Forest

  • Try out one of the city's tobogganing hills

  • Turn your living room into movie theatre with a projector, popcorn and candy
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