For too many girls, teenage years are a time of unwanted attention from older men | Moira Donegan

A viral TikTok video captured an everyday reality reflected in the allegations against Matt Gaetz and Blake Bailey

At first the girl is animated and fast-talking, gesturing with her hands as she speaks to the camera. She's wearing a tie-dye shirt that hangs cavernously around her thin frame; her long blond hair is stick straight. She speaks with the unrestrained enthusiasm of a kid. Later, I learn that she is 18. When the man approaches her, just out of frame, at first she thinks he just wants to take one of the empty chairs that is at her table and drag it away somewhere else; she's in the courtyard of the motel where she's staying with her mom, and she's sitting at one of the outdoor tables alone. But he doesn't want to take the chair, he wants to sit down in it. The man never enters the frame, but we can tell he is older, and he must be much bigger than she is: the girl, still seated, cranes her face to look up at him. The calm confidence behind her large glasses snuffs out; her shoulders tense up, rising toward her ears. He's trying to sleep with her. Off camera, the man can be heard commenting on the girl's visible discomfort. I see your hesitancy," he says. On the screen, the caption the girl eventually added to the video reveals that she has given him a fake name. Eventually, she reveals to him that she is taping. I'm just doing a live and talking to some people," she says, and glances towards her phone. That's when he finally leaves her alone: not when he notices that she's uncomfortable, but when he realizes that he is being watched.

The video (in two parts), posted to TikTok by the teenage user @maassassin_, immediately goes viral. Women, young and old, saw in the exchange a microcosm of their own experiences of being young girls, and of being approached, harassed, groomed or merely leered at by older men in ways that scared them at the time, and which they only later learned to put into context. The video blasted into the public consciousness on the heels of two high-profile cases of sexual misconduct by adult men towards teenage girls: first that of the Florida congressman Matt Gaetz, who allegedly paid a 17-year-old for sex, and second that of Blake Bailey, the Philip Roth biographer who is accused of paying untoward attention towards his middle school students, and of sexually assaulting some of those students, as well as another woman, after they became adults. Gaetz and Bailey both deny wrongdoing.