Is GB News a threat to democracy? That’s the million-dollar oesion | Stewart Lee

The new anti-woke news channel is poorly produced and chaotically presented but we underestimate it at our peril

Last week, as a disciple of the religion of wokeness, I was busy boycotting products advertised on Andrew Sphagnum Moss Neil's new anti-woke GB News channel, which has been difficult as many of them are goods and services I don't use. Consequently, I spent Monday in the park under a willow tree trying determinedly to develop a taste for Kopparberg cider, so I could email the company later announcing I was no longer going to drink it. But, as I woke up in a puddle of my own urine on Tuesday morning, I learned that the fruity alcohol provider was the first of many firms to announce withdrawal from GB News's slots. My liver had suffered needlessly, but I felt pretty good about myself because of the sacrifice I had considered making, but then hadn't needed to anyway.

Reaching damply for my phone, I saw that Grolsch and Ikea had declared that GB News's ethos was also contrary to their values" (namely buy more beer" and buy more furniture" respectively). If GB News advertisers Amazon, Google and Facebook suddenly discover they too have values" maybe they will address their shortcomings in areas such as tax avoidance, workers' rights and data manipulation. I went downstairs and ordered a garlic naan from the GB News-supporting fast-food bikers Deliveroo, so I could tell the poorly paid delivery person to take it back to his evil paymasters immediately and then signed up for a philosophy degree with GB News enablers the Open University, with the specific intention of withdrawing from it on principle later. Take back control!