Scott Radley: Hamilton guy gets The Bachelorette
In the end, Blake Moynes rode off into the sunset - literally - on horseback, in a sharp black suit, into the desert, with his new fiancee beside him.
Never let it be said The Bachelorette goes subtle on romance.
But yeah, the Hamilton guy took home first prize in the reality show. Which in this case is Katie Thurston, who chose him over 24 other candidates after a gruelling gauntlet of cocktail parties, romantic candlelight dinners, deep conversations, dream dates and enough drama to fill the scripts of a dozen soap operas.
In Monday's finale alone, Moynes spent time in a hot tub listening to his future wife talk of how upsetting it had been that another contestant with whom she had a strong relationship had decided to leave the show.
If that wasn't awkward enough, Moynes - who had been a contestant last season as well - later had to pick an engagement ring for Thurston with the help of the show's co-host who happened to be last season's bachelorette for whom he'd appeared to have feelings.
Complicated? Yeah, slightly. But it all worked out in the end and they'll now live happily ever after.
Millions tuned in to watch the frothy romance every week. But watching the whole thing play out has been especially intriguing for those who grew up with him.
Mark Jooris had not been a viewer of the show in past seasons. But this year? Oh yeah, he's in.
Fifteen years ago or so, he'd coached the Burlington Eagles bantam rep team. His son, Josh, was a high-scoring forward. Moynes was a quiet kid but a bruising defenceman.
He was a freight-train hitter," Mark says. He threw some bombs out there."
That's the consensus opinion. Two of Moynes' old high school coaches at Notre Dame Secondary and a couple former teammates say the guy who talked about how being on the TV show was like being in a fairy tale was a beast on the ice.
But off the ice? Words like quiet and pleasant and even quirky get thrown around.
Quirky?
He was always into nature and animals," says former minor hockey teammate Jake Guindon.
Moynes' bio says he's a wildlife manager. Right now he's spending a lot of time in Africa working for a non-profit, he explained on the air. So it probably fits.
Carl van Landschoot was one of those high school coaches. Like Jooris, he hadn't been a regular viewer of the show. But his wife is and some time ago she mentioned Moynes. That was enough for him to tune in and check it out. And to be quite amazed to see the good kid he remembers as being so understated on the screen.
He was so shy and quiet," van Landschoot says. I can't believe he has the courage to do this."
Shy? Quiet? Guindon isn't sure he agrees. Josh Jooris either. Especially not after last season when Moynes fulfilled a dare by imitating an orgasm over a hotel loudspeaker, played nude dodge ball, and when told to sculpt something out of clay, went phallic.
Have there been points he's been shocked?
There have been a few," Josh laughs.
But in the end, his friend got the girl. Which is ultimately the point of this show. Find your soulmate in the most unusual of circumstances with cameras in your face all day long and microphones picking up every word you say.
Moynes got down on one knee and proposed, giving the show's millions of devoted viewers what they were surely hoping to see. And made his friends back here happy for him.
Minutes after it was done, People magazine posted a photo online of the happy couple wearing matching Canada hockey sweaters and a second shot of them sitting in front of a Canadian flag. Who knows, maybe that means they'll be spotted together around Hamilton.
As for Josh, the whole thing has just been wild. He never expected to see someone he knew in this spot.
It's just surreal to watch him."
Scott Radley is a Hamilton-based columnist at The Spectator. Reach him via email: sradley@thespec.com