Finally, Facebook can say it’s not the most toxic social network | Marina Hyde

Donald Trump's plans to launch a platform are good news for Mark Zuckerberg, who'll be busy prebutting the next damning expose of his company

By rights, these should really be what we might euphemise as Donald Trump's hidden years". Though he might not have been expected to descend immediately to full late-era Howard Hughes - four-inch fingernails and tissue boxes on his feet - the aesthetics of this third act in Trump's American life felt promisingly tragicomic.

The 45th president would live out an excruciatingly undignified post-office twilight down at Mar-a-Lago, railing like some 19th-hole Lear about his lost kingdom, shuffling his sad buffet tray of trans fats along the line in the communal restaurants of his home/tacky-members'-club hybrid, and grabbing the mic at weddings held on the premises to assure bemused guests that he was days, maybe even hours, away from securing gamechanging recounts in this or that state.

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist