Lorraine Sommerfeld: Every reason for this to be a very special birthday
Christopher turns 30 in a couple of days.
We don't do a lot of cake-and-presents in this family, and it's because of Christopher. When he was about six, I asked him what he wanted for his birthday and he replied instantly: family dinner." Family dinner can be a mere handful of us, or it can be the whole extended family. But, that is what both Christer and Ari have requested for their birthdays ever since.
This year is different. Everything about this year has been different. While I never let myself truly consider it, there was always the chance that this birthday wouldn't happen. When you're told your son has to have a brain tumour removed right now, in the middle of a pandemic, and the outcomes are unknown until they get in there, you hold your breath.
You hold your breath as the world does two things simultaneously: it slows down so much that every sound and every motion halts and hangs in mid-air. At the same time, everything moves at whip speed as you galvanize all your resources to try to weave a cage of safety around the only thing that matters: your child.
And now, nearly eight months later, my kid is requesting steak for his birthday dinner. My boy, you can have anything you want. The couples live just a few minutes apart, so they carpool when they come for dinner. It means they have three designated drivers (Christer hasn't been able to see well enough to drive for several years now) rotating between them. I was making Pammy her favourite, too - shrimp fettuccine - because this birthday was a cause for everybody to celebrate. This young woman has stood by my son for nearly a dozen years. I would do anything for her; that meant shrimp.
I stuck my head into the living room where they were all talking and laughing.
OK, this might be weird with steak, but I'm doing mashed potatoes. Does anyone want gravy, because I could do that," I asked. Christopher looked at me, eyebrows raised.
When has gravy ever made anything worse?" he asked. I made gravy.
Arlene was with us, my high school English teacher. She treats my boys like her grandsons and spoils them accordingly. We'd spoken a week earlier because she thought we should get Christopher a 30th birthday present.
How about a weekend in Niagara-on-the-Lake?" she asked me. I might have blinked. I can't afford a weekend in Niagara-on-the-Lake. But she was off and running, scrolling through her phone.
Oh! They have packages! The Prince of Wales hotel has gorgeous rooms, breakfasts, dinners ..." she kept scrolling.
They have to park the dogs at the daycare," I remembered. Because of my cats, I can't take their dogs. I'll pay for that," I said, making a list of everything needed to make sure this was truly a gift for kids who can't afford extras.
At his birthday dinner, Arlene announced Christopher was getting a birthday present. Pammy grabbed his hand and squealed. Remember, we don't do presents. Pammy loves presents.
Your mom and I are giving you two nights at the Prince of Wales in Niagara. And here, you need walking around money." She thrust an envelope at Christer. Do not use that for anything but that trip," she said.
Arlene put together a two-night stay with meals and paid it all in advance. They go in a few weeks. The kids feel like they've won a lottery, the dogs will have a blast and I'll swing a couple of massages.
Christer came into the kitchen to give me a huge hug. I couldn't get out the words to tell him what I was feeling. So I just hugged him back.
Thank you," he said.