‘Cobwebs are more exciting’ – a dog reviews DOGTV

The world's first streaming service for pooches promises to stimulate and educate, but Lyra soon got bored and started licking her bits - and it almost sent her owner to sleep

After an hour of trying to cajole my dog Lyra into watching DOGTV - which launched in the UK and Europe this morning - I had some pressing questions: What am I doing with my life?" and why is this starting to feel like that scene in A Clockwork Orange?"

DOGTV has a number of short videos explaining why it exists and how you - the human being with a dog - are supposed to use it. One blurb, a cartoon narrated by a man pretending to speak from the perspective of a pet, explains that it has been created by scientists and dog experts" and is based on more than 60 scientific studies". The idea is that it offers soothing content, presented in colours and sounds that are most palatable to dogs' perceptions, with healing sound frequencies and positive affirmations". It should stimulate them, calm them, and even educate them, by slowly getting them used to new or triggering sounds.