A chilling catastrophe punctuated my week | David Mitchell

Hard on the heels of the terrible news that the apostrophe is in decline, my wine fridge packed up

Use of the apostrophe is declining. That's according to research from Lancaster University backed up by what anyone would guess was happening. I reckon it was all over as soon as you couldn't put them in web addresses. The future will only need one sort of dot, the techies decided. The comma is putting up decent resistance, but it's just a matter of time before we see the last of its hovering colleague. Please enjoy the correct punctuation of the itses in that sentence.

Reduction in apostrophe usage isn't all bad news, even for sticklers, because it is often used wrongly. Abandoning it may actually reduce punctuation errors. At last, the grocers will have to stop sticking things in where they're not wanted, even if it will become harder to know whether or not any splendid metaphorical bollocks you may be enjoying all belong to one dog.