The coach who taught me how to live up to your heroes by failing them

Harvard's Kathy Delaney-Smith, who is retiring from coaching after 40 years, taught me a lesson that goes far beyond wins and losses: You don't really know a person until you let them down

Winning is a meat grinder into which many college basketball coaches feed their players. That sounds terrible but I get it. For a long time, winning was my drug of choice. As a player I'd gladly sacrifice myself for a W - until the sacrifices became too real and too sad. Although I've won a lot of games and a few championships, 20 years after playing Division I basketball, the biggest lesson I learned comes from loss.

I learned it from Kathy Delaney-Smith, the coach who doesn't like to be called coach", because she thinks too many people have negative associations (see: meat grinder). This March Madness will be her last, as she's retiring after 40 years of fighting for equity, upending Ivory Tower norms, and yes - winning.