Turns out breastfeeding really does hurt – why does no one tell you? | Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett

I get that they don't want to put us off, but there are many reasons people might have to stop. Guilt trips and secrecy don't help

I never thought breastfeeding would be hard. When I thought about it at all, my mind conjured beatific scenes suffused with a sort of religious glow. There I was, genteelly offering the child a nipple in the manner of a renaissance Madonna, which the child accepted politely and cherubically. What a pretty picture we made.

Well, those preconceptions were - excuse my language - complete horseshit. These days I envisage more of a triptych: the infant Jesus spluttering at the breast, face purple with hangry fury; the infant Jesus possetting milk down Mary's front; the infant Jesus and the nappy explosion.

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Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett is a Guardian columnist