Meet Adam and Steve, who work to ‘carve out and protect’ LGBTQ spaces in Hamilton

No matter how much time passes, Steven Hilliard still gets emotional talking about the night he credits for saving his life.

Hilliard was just 16 years old when he found himself kicked out of his house and living on the streets of Hamilton, all because he identified as queer.

But one night out spent sneaking into a gay bar changed everything for the now 37-year-old.

Managing to slink his way into the now-shuttered downtown bar, Crush, Hilliard looked to the stage and saw a drag queen performing to an enthusiastic crowd.

He was in a state of both shock and awe.

It was the first time Hilliard had ever seen anyone like himself have the freedom to play with gender" and be celebrated for it, as opposed to becoming the target of homophobia.

It was this community that saved me," he said, speaking to The Spectator. All I had known up until that point was adversity and hate."

And now more than two decades later, Hilliard and his partner, Adam Palios, are doing their part to carve out and protect" queer spaces in Steeltown through their event planning company, House of Adam and Steve.

Under that moniker, the duo organize and host energetic drag shows of all different kinds, queer dance parties, game nights, as well as movie screenings and social events.

We want everyone to feel safe and celebrated, no matter their gender, sexuality, socioeconomic status, race or ability," said Palios. They may not be for everyone, but they are for anyone."

Hilliard said their passion for party planning started at home, where they'd host dinner parties and get-togethers with close family and friends.

We always loved bringing people together," said Palios. We believe you can throw a party that you just invite people to, or you can throw a party that no one will ever forget."

And forget they did not.

Ultimately, word spread about the notorious gatherings and, suddenly, Ticats players and members of bands such as Arkells, Alexisonfire and July Talk were dancing in their living room.

And with their home bursting at the seams, they decided to take their events into the community, in hopes of filling a void left behind by the closure of all of the city's explicitly queer spaces - including Steel Lounge, Baltimore House, the Werx, the Embassy and Gomorrah's Books.

Hilliard said their first event in 2016 was a great success," but their working relationship with the bar ended up falling apart.

A couple years later, they found their unofficial home at Absinthe on King William Street, where management welcomed the duo with open arms and minds.

Hilliard said the establishment heard their concerns, needs and ideas, allowing them to bring in go-go dancers, institute gender neutral washrooms and educate staff on creating safe queer spaces.

It was the first space that really allowed us to do what we wanted, be as a queer and as free as possible," said Hilliard. That's where it really started for us."

Soon enough, other locales started to take notice," said Palios.

Venues across the city began reaching out about hosting events in hopes of also becoming known as safe spaces for the queer community. They've since hosted events at Martello, Moody's, Arcade, the Mule, Amigos and Bridgeworks - just to name a few.

And over the last four years, they've brought big names in queer entertainment to the city, including drag artists such as Thorgy Thor, Kim Chi, Kylie Sonique Love, Priyanka, Ilona Verley, Gia Metric and Detox.

Our goal was to bring out the queerness that was always here," said Hilliard. And now we are being seen in not just exclusively queer spaces in a way that's never happened before."

However, Palios noted that they aren't the only ones working to actively carve out" queer spaces around the city. Other groups and venues have grown to include the Well, Hamilton Queer Hangs, Queer Outta Hamilton and Fruit Salad Hamilton.

But like those other groups, their job doesn't end at ensuring their attendees had a good time.

Hilliard said their work is also about encouraging a strong, local economy for LGBTQ artists and making sure establishments like the Well can keep their doors open.

And while it hasn't been without risk, admitted Palios, it has paid off more than the pair could have ever expected, all thanks to the city's world-class" LGBTQ community.

Just a few months ago, their success even allowed Hilliard to leave his more-than-decade-long career in health care to focus purely on event planning.

The energy here is insane," said Hilliard. I really believe Hamilton is one of the best places to live as a queer person."

And through a greater focus on that work, the pair hope to continue to break down barriers for the queer community in the city.

Our goal is to not make Hamilton gay, it's to keep it queer," said Palios. It always was and always will be."

Fallon Hewitt is a reporter at The Spectator. fhewitt@thespec.com