Survivors of childhood trauma often grow up believing they are unworthy | Andrea Szasz

Being conditioned as a child to see toxic relationships as almost normal can prevent an adult make loving connections

• The modern mind is a column where experts discuss mental health issues they are seeing in their work

Well-spoken and seemingly confident, Jane* came to therapy as a single, 55-year-old woman after a string of toxic" relationships. In our first session, she wondered why she was attracting men who were unavailable emotionally, and why she felt resentful after spending a few months in a relationship with these men.

As someone who had never sought therapy, Jane was initially guarded about her life and relationships, and I sensed she wanted me to see her as perfect. It was clear to me that she was trying to be overly positive about life and was not fully in touch with her emotions. We continued to build trust in our therapeutic relationship with slow and steady pacing of emotional exploration and Jane confessed that she has struggled to maintain any healthy romantic relationships from her late teens until now.