Canadian Court Upholds ‘God Given Right’ To Give Your Obnoxious Neighbor The Finger
The international sign language for go fuck yourself" isn't just a protected right in the US of A. Although we may make more use of it than most, a Canadian court has declared this particular form of expression to be blessed by [insert deity of choice here]. Canadians may have a reputation for civility, but less civil forms of expression are welcome, if not exactly encouraged.
In this case, brought to us by The Guardian, Neall Epstein - the defendant - was constantly harassed by his neighbor, Michael Naccache, who apparently took offense to Epstein and his family's mere existence. As is noted in the court decision, Naccache was the antagonist, but somehow managed to flip the script and get Epstein arrested for criminal harassment" because he dared to tell Naccache to fuck off" while saluting him with the bird.
The Montreal court is highly displeased with Naccache. It opens with the description of an idyllic (and, apparently, accurate depiction of the events leading to this) scene involving Epstein and his children. It involves parents watching kids play in their yards and the street, enjoying some fresh air after long COVID lockdowns. It details chalk drawings on sidewalks and driveways commemorating his child's 5th birthday. The court calls it a suburban utopia," a utopia that apparently offended the fuck out of Michael Naccache. [Emphasis in the original.]
Yet, to the complainant and his family, this is an unbearable nuisance. An affront on many levels. So much so, that according to the objective video evidence, they drive dangerously near the children as a way to protest their presence and express their discontent. That is the backdrop of this case. The complainants have a list of grievances against the accused, his family, his young children and the other neighbours' young children. These grievances are nothing more than mundane, petty neighbourhood trivialities. The complainants have consistently videotaped their neighbours. Yet, they charge Mr. Epstein with criminal harassment. With an irony of unmatched proportions, they complain that he might have recorded them. He did not.
Fuck this, says the court.
To the complainants, the presence of young families outside it is a source of scorn and vivid resentment that ultimately spilled over into a criminal complaint against their neighbour. A school teacher. A caring father of two young daughters who committed no crime whatsoever. A man who has somehow been subjected to criminal charges for almost two years.
This injustice ends today.
No, really. FUCK THIS.
For reasons explained below, the Court is resoundingly acquitting the accused. Since I'm hesitant to draft an entire decision in bold and caps-lock characters, I offer the following observations instead.
It is deplorable that the complainants have weaponized the criminal justice system in an attempt to exert revenge on an innocent man for some perceived slights that are, at best, trivial peeves.
It's an incredibly fun read. Obviously, the target of the court's on-point anger won't appreciate it, but that won't stop the rest of us from enjoying it. The mots are extremely bon, folks. Dive in.
The claims of a street overrun by unsupervised children are undercut by video evidence, all of it helpfully submitted by the complainant. What there is of it shows children exercising caution while in the street. It also shows various members of the Naccache family attempting to make things dangerous by refusing to slow their vehicles while driving past children and, in fact, coming dangerously close to striking them even as the children attempted to get out of the way.
It also shows the accused - Neall Epstein - being swore at, yelled at, and shoved by Naccache. It also shows ridiculous stuff like this, which Naccache claimed was evidence of criminal harassment by Epstein.
On April 4th 2021, a young boy passed by the house and pretended to shoot Frank Naccache [Michael Naccache's father] with a hockey stick, pointing it like a firearm.
The complainant does not know who the boy is, although he has often seen him on the street and he believes that the child was present during the March 25th gathering".
It warrants mention that the accused does not have a son. The boy in the video is unidentified. There is no evidence whatsoever linking Mr. Epstein to the young boy.
The complainant adds that on April 4th 2021, the accused and his wife stared at his house as they walked on the street. He further alleges that Mr. Epstein was pretending to be on his phone.
The culminating confrontation between Epstein and his accuser - the one that resulted in the flipping of the bird - was instigated by Naccache's threatening of Epstein. While holding a drill in a menacing way," Naccache said, You're fucking dead." All this got out of Epstein was a fuck off" and a corresponding middle finger. And yet, Naccache claimed Epstein delivered a death threat. Back to the court:
The case at bar is not a close call.
And the court goes off. Several times.
The complainant expresses that it was weird" for Epstein to be recording the argument on March 25th 2021. This, coming from the man who installed 8 cameras to record and document his neighbours' every movement.
And:
On what basis did he fear that Mr. Epstein was a potential murderer? The fact that he went for quiet walks with his kids? The fact that he socialized with the other young parents on the street? If that is the standard, we should all fear that our neighbours are killers in waiting. Hide your kids, hide your wives. We are all in mortal danger.
More:
The evidence shows that the complainant's family repeatedly contacted the police about the perceived inappropriate conduct of their neighbours. Evidently, the police did not want to pursue the matter. The complainants appear to have enough free time on their hands to sift through video footage, hoping to find something devastating, and then decry as abhorrent the simple fact that a young family walks up the street. Perhaps they should reflect on whether or not the suburb life is right for them.
And the final beatdown, which - if there's any justice in the word - will be pull-quoted repeatedly:
To be abundantly clear, it is not a crime to give someone the finger. Flipping the proverbial bird is a God-given, Charter enshrined right that belongs to every red-blooded Canadian. It may not be civil, it may not be polite, it may not be gentlemanly.
Nevertheless, it does not trigger criminal liability. Offending someone is not a crime. It is an integral component of one's freedom of expression. Citizens are to be thicker-skinned, especially when they behave in ways that are highly likely to trigger such profanity - like driving too fast on a street where innocent kids are playing. Being told to fuck off" should not prompt a call to 9-1-1.
No, wait. This part may be even better:
In the modern-day vernacular, people often refer to a criminal case being thrown out". Obviously, this is little more than a figurative expression. Cases aren't actually thrown out, in the literal or physical sense. Nevertheless, in the specific circumstances of this case, the Court is inclined to actually take the file and throw it out the window, which is the only way to adequately express my bewilderment with the fact that Mr. Epstein was subjected to an arrest and a fulsome criminal prosecution. Alas, the courtrooms of the Montreal courthouse do not have windows.
The law of the (Canadian) land is clear: you are fully within your rights to tell your obnoxious neighbor to fuck off. Whether you use your words or your fingers doesn't matter. Separately or in combination, it's still free speech.