Who says clothes aren’t a matter of life or death? In Succession they’re both | Morwenna Ferrier

Grieving and pregnant, Shiv Roy's wardrobe speaks to those of us who have tried to hold it down at life-changing moments

In the days after my mother's death, I spent a lot of time online looking for shoes to wear to her funeral.

Not an obvious reaction to grief. But while I had a dress - a black one with pretty red peonies that I kept rolled up in my bag when her illness began to accelerate during the summer - we were in lockdown so the shops were shut, and I wasn't going to wear Birkenstocks. Eventually, I found some brogues on eBay and, after wiping them with Dettol, tried everything on. I looked nice, put together. But this was the problem. Looking put together" seemed like the wrong response when I felt anything but. On the day of her funeral, I wore my mother's navy skirt suit. It was too big and I was too hot, but for both reasons felt much more appropriate.

Morwenna Ferrier is the Guardian's fashion and lifestyle editor