My wife is Thai and I’m white. How can I stop people from making racist assumptions about our relationship? | Ms Understanding

You are in an excellent position to push back on stereotypes, says Sisonke Msimang. Racism isn't just offensive to people of colour, it's offensive period

• Ms Understanding is an advice column for everyone on everyday issues around race

Dear Ms Understanding,

Thanks for your articles. My wife is Thai and I'm from an Anglo/Spanish background, which is relevant, because on occasion, another middle-aged white male (ie more than one individual) will say to me something like I've thought of getting myself a Thai wife too". I find it really offensive to the both of us for all the easy (and wrong!) assumptions made. My reaction has generally been blinking disbelief and silence though internally I wouldn't mind letting them know that my wife has higher tertiary qualifications than me and that we met in an educational setting.