Things can always get worse – and here’s a Blippi movie to prove it | Stuart Heritage

Was there ever a cheaper looking film than Blippi's Big Dino Adventure? Children may be thrilled by the prospect, but they are foolish and need protecting. As do the parents

The summer holidays are not much fun for parents of young children, and they are currently flop-sweating with anxiety over how they're going to manage to hold down all their professional obligations while simultaneously entertaining the neediest human beings in their lives. But if the last few years have taught us anything at all, it's that things can always get worse. And so it brings me absolutely no joy whatsoever to inform you that a Blippi movie is coming out this summer.

You may know Blippi. If you have children aged 10 or under, there is a solid chance that you have endured long, joyless tracts of time watching Blippi on YouTube. For the uninitiated, Blippi is a sort of high-frequency idiot who dresses like a clown and spends his days feigning amusement as he visits the zoos, regional museums and strip-mall soft play centres of the US. His videos receive millions of views, there are Blippi NFTs on the market, and his creator is notorious for once making a pre-fame video in which he undressed and blasted explosive diarrhoea across the bare bottom of his friend. And now there is a Blippi film.