‘When I tried to play, my hand spasmed and shook’: why musicians get the yips

One day, my hand stopped speaking to my brain. As a doctor and flute player, I had to try to understand this strange affliction

The morning after performing the concert of my life, I could no longer play the flute. The pinky and ring fingers of my left hand failed to cooperate with what my mind wanted to do - I couldn't work the keys. The harder I tried, the more my fingers curled into a claw, stuck in spasm. Even stranger: no other activity was affected. I could type on a keyboard with the same facility as usual and play scales on the piano with unimpeded finger action.

The concert, the capstone of my master's degree in historical performance at the same university where I'd worked as a palliative care physician until 2019, was in March 2020 - one of the last before the Covid-19 lockdowns. My weird finger problem seemed small compared with the unfolding pandemic.