I was a pop star – but loneliness and boredom made me quit for something better | Jordan Gray

After seven albums and multiple awards, I realised I much preferred acting the clown to singing for my supper

On Christmas Eve 2017, I told my wife that eight years into a successful 10-year music career, I wanted to quit and tell jokes instead. She told me she supported me and - crucially - that she believed I was funny enough to make a go of it. I was elated ... until we pulled a cracker and she almost died laughing at the joke inside. Fair to say her comedy barometer was a bit buggered.

I recorded music for a decade under the stage name Tall Dark Friend. Don't ask me what it means - I didn't know then and I don't know now. Seven albums, two European tours, a proverbial shelf of awards" (the awards were real, I just never got around to putting up an actual shelf) - and no plan B. Everything culminated with a memorable stint on The Voice in 2016, signing to a label, bringing out a rubbish single, being unceremoniously dropped from said label, and dragging my arse across the Pride circuit for a year as my heart scabbed over. I turned my head one day to find the muse on my shoulder had long since flown away.