Forget Debrett’s. Here is my phone etiquette advice – whatever your age | Zoe Williams

From Gen Z to boomers, each generation engages in some truly reprehensible smartphone behaviour. Don't get me started on voice notes...

When Debrett's issued their ten commandments of mobile etiquette, the most surprising thing was that the first six were all a variation on don't just call someone, send a text first". So, in no particular order of importance because they are all the same; don't call without texting; don't call loads of times; don't be surprised if no one answers when you call, which you shouldn't have done; if you did all these bad things and no one picked up, send a text afterwards to explain why you are stupid; if someone does pick up, don't be surprised if they freak the hell out, because you shouldn't have called; make sure your opening gambit is nothing bad has happened".

It reads like padding, which is weird, because there are at least a thousand other principles of mobile phone manners they could have mentioned. Please, gen X, stop leaving voice notes; it doesn't make you seem modern, it comes off as if some infirmity has prevented your texting, probably arthritic thumbs. Young people: Watch how I can text a perfectly accurate message without once looking at the screen" is not the spectator sport you think it is. Boomers: if you are in the middle of a conversation about something quite profound, such as the choreography of your low-carbon funeral, and whether a mariachi band would strike a discordant note against your wicker coffin, and the guy from the delicatessen calls, probably to tell you that he has made mini-lasagnes, you don't necessarily have to beg silence from the room and answer the phone.