Baby name battles and betrayals – I bring you harrowing tales from the frontline | Lucinda Price

Isla, Amelia, Oliver and Noah ... your time is now. Why are we all so unoriginal?

The yearly index of the most popular names in New South Wales dropped last week, and for anyone who sporadically logs on to Facebook to find half of their graduating class pregnant, the results are likely unsurprising. For girls, Isla and Amelia came in equal first with 383 registered births each, followed by Olivia, Mia and Charlotte. For boys, Oliver, Noah, Leo, Henry and Luca rounded out the top five.

Depending on your individuality complex, the results could be benign or devastating. If you chose the name Isla before 2008, you were a pioneer. It was unlikely your baby girl would need to fight for the right to be called Isla in school without the qualifying initial of her last name. Now, the name has become my generation's answer to Jessica". All babies born from the late noughties called Isla are now destined for a lifetime of saying Isla with an S" when they order iced lattes (climate change has rendered hot coffee obsolete).