I swore I’d never go back … but here I am, jonesing for Fifa | Dominik Diamond

After a very public breakup, Dominik Diamond had avoided the addictive football game for two years - until he was suckered in with a free trial of EA Sports FC 24

I fell off the wagon recently. Two and a half years, and all it took was one little slip. I was home one night and there it was, offered to me: a little free taste to suck me in. Before I knew it, I was hooked. I know it's a terrible thing to do; I know it serves no purpose other than to get me to do more of it, taking my money in ever larger fistfuls as I plunge deeper and deeper into the mire of addiction. But there I was. I was back on the Fifa. (Or rather, the EA Sports FC 24, as they lost the official rights.)

It was a 10-hour free trial on Xbox Live. Ten hours, that'll be OK, I told myself. Just a taste. See what it's like after 30 months away. And before I know it, I'm into Ultimate Team again. This is the gaming equivalent of standing outside your ex-wife's house trying to see what toys her new fella has bought for your kids.